Missing In Costa Rica
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Pubblicato:21 Marzo 2009 10:14 am
Ultimo aggiornamento:1 Agosto 2009 9:23 am 23806 visite
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I know I have been missing in action without warning that I was leaving. I apologize for this especially to my friends who are used to seeing me leave for months on end.
An impromptu vacation took me away from CityHookups.com and my blog. It was all last minute. I had 12 hours to pack my bikini and head off to Costa Rica for a well needed vacation.
Okay, I was trying to justify the trip. But considering all the crapola I have been through the last month or so I decided to pack my little bag and head off for some sun and fun.
I just got back early this morning and I need some sleep. I hope to be back later to return some email and check on all of my friends. For those of you who emailed me, forgive me.
Just to let you know, Costa Rica was beautiful! So warm and so much sun! I have a great tan and I even lost a couple of pounds...I think I sweat them off in the sun.
Off to Lola land where the clouds are made of vanilla ice cream....
Good night...or good day.....~
bella~
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10
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The Mystery That I Am
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Pubblicato:10 Marzo 2009 6:11 pm
Ultimo aggiornamento:20 Aprile 2009 9:06 am 29449 visite
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So I have a friend that knows I am on this website and blog. She has stated that she would never because it leaves nothing to the imagination in regards to myself.
My mother told me, my friend told me and others in my past have told me not to wear my heart on my sleeve and not to tell everyone my business. I have been told it is in my best interest to be a mystery to men and those alike.
When I was younger I tried, I say I hate this behavior in a man and I dont think anyone deserves this treatment.
This blog exposes everything about me, maybe not exactly as it did years ago when my blog first started, maybe it is in a different way now. I dont see the harm in it. I am who I am and I dont believe who I am has to be hidden as though I am wrong.
So this is me....this is who I am, and I dont want to be a mystery. I am open about almost everything...well maybe absolutely everything...I am not even 100% sure and I want to remain this way to my friends and I am always open to answer any questions and for my actions.
Enough of that...just a little update...P90X is kicking my ass! I am in pain and love it. And I thought I was working out at the gym, I was wrong!
Going to go read a little then eat a little dinner.
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11
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My Experience With Unlady Like Things
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Pubblicato:8 Marzo 2009 8:21 pm
Ultimo aggiornamento:3 Maggio 2012 6:00 pm 32418 visite
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Okay, tonight I am going to talk about something women rarely admit to being afflicted with, and the only reason I am going to speak of it is because I am on a quest of honesty. Get ready, here it comes.
Last night I had my date with the firefighter which I will get to later. Before the date I decided to indulge because of the brutal fitness program I am embarking on tomorrow. I went through drive through because I am just lazy and I ordered myself a hamburger and onion rings from A&W which I love but rarely eat. I got home and demolished the burger and onion rings with no guilt because I will suffer for it for the next 90 days. I was feeling pretty good, took a bath and got all prettied up for my date.
Mr. Fireman came to pick me up and I was thrilled to be going to dinner with him. That meant I could eat some more since I was on the no guilt trip thing. We went to a restaurant, a very nice one, and we got the menu's. Now, I am not the type of girl to order salad at the best of times. I feel like it puts men off and apart from that I am Italian, I like to eat well even though I dont do it on a regular basis. So I ordered ribs because neither am I embarassed about using my fingers or wiping bbq sauce off my lips....they just taste better afterwards. So I ate my ribs and finished and we ordered dessert, cheesecake which I cannot resist and I was still feeling no guilt.
After dinner we went to a club briefly to dance and thats when it started. My stomach was feeling queesy and I had some heartburn which I cannot stand! No harm done though, I danced and ignored it until I had a few drinks. Now I was really queesy, heartburn and then the gas started.
Okay, its not the first time I have had gas and I am good at hiding it, but this gas felt like an atomic bomb that needed out. If I would have let them go they would have been loud and a danger to the environment. And this is exactly when he wanted me to go back to his place and see it.
I was weary....actually in a panic! But I was a trooper. The acid was in my mouth and the other end was feeling like something I have never felt before and thats when he wanted to kiss me and get closer. I tried, only higher powers know I tried, keeping the acid down and the gas in. I was turning green. And then it happened, I excused myself to the bathroom and prayed something would be in his medicine cabinet I could take. Nothing. I came out of the bathroom and came clean saying I wasnt feeling well. He gave me a pepcid and I had to call it a night because by that point I needed a bathroom and not just any bathroom, I needed my own!
He called today and I told him of my sin. He laughed and came over for cappuccino. We made another date. I promised not to eat beforehand.
As of midnight tonight I am done. I am on program and tomorrow is my first workout. I am still suffering with the gas although I am alone and my dogs dont mind.
Gas, heartburn, diarrhea...I had them all in my pretty little black dress. The gas made my straightened hair curl and I fear this poor man thinks there is something wrong with me constantly.
I hope there are men out there that can appreciate a woman with these problems. I feel like this is like alcoholics annonymous.
"Hi, my name is Bella and I am recovering from gas, cured for 2 hours......just love me anyways!"
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42
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Dancing Queen
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Pubblicato:7 Marzo 2009 12:43 pm
Ultimo aggiornamento:8 Giugno 2012 9:48 am 26249 visite
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On Thursday night I went for my first ballroom dance lesson. I have to tell you I enjoyed it more than anything in the last little while. I got totally dressed up in my hot little red dress and my black high hell boots. Unfortunately when I got there I realized most of the women were in regular pants, sweats and no high heels. I stood out like a sore thumb but I looked hot anyways.
It angered me a little when someone complained about my perfume. I use Jean Paul Gaultier always. She said it was making her nose itchy and the instructor suggested I dont wear it next time....Yeah right! Good Luck on that! I never go out without my perfume.
I was distracted some, my dance partner and friend Nick looked way to sexy! I asked him to dress the part and he did. He had black pants and anyone who knows me knows I am a sucker for a man in black pants. He had on this tight Nike t shirt...and well I was having sexual fantasies all the while my panties were getting wet.
The dancing is hard! But I love a challange and I am totally going to engulf myself in this. I find moving my body sexy, it feels sexy, I feel like a woman, enticing and erotic. I always have, even when I was dancing erotically. I think that is something I will never lose although I would have been more comfortable if there was a pole in that studio.
Tonight I am having A&W, burger and onion rings as these are my last 2 days before starting this P90X workout system. I am happy that I dont have to go to the gym for the next 3 months. I can do everything at home and if there isn't enough cardio for me I can always get on my crosstrainer. If there is anyone out there who has done this program or who is doing it, please let me know how it works. It is suppose to shred my body but I dont want bulk.
As for my cougars post....I have realized that being called a cougar is bad but worse is a leopard. As explained it is a cougar with spots (is that age spots?)
Tonight I am going on a date! My firefighter is picking me up after my burgers....and then dinner.....damn! So much food! I love it. I hope I can breathe later! I am planning on focusing on him and not thinking about Nick all sexy in black. Its amazing, I either have no man and no prospects or there is more than one. When it rains it really pours!
Just an apology to all whom have emailed me, I am so behind. Going there now.
chow
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7
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Keeping Up With The Cougars
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Pubblicato:5 Marzo 2009 3:19 pm
Ultimo aggiornamento:8 Giugno 2012 9:48 am 34110 visite
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I wasn't going to post today but I have something floating around in my mind. Actually it is sort of bothering me today. I have been receiving a lot of email from younger men which is just fine. But all these younger men make a point of making reference to me being older than they are by using 2 words specifically that makes me cringe upon reading. Once I read these words my interest is completely lost and it sort of offends me a bit. These 2 words are 'Mature' and 'Cougar.'
"I am looking for a mature woman" or "I dont think your a cougar", is what I get constantly and its hard to read past those words.
Ok, I know I am not 25 anymore. I know I am a bit older than what a man would consider a hot chick. And I know for the most part these words are not used as an insult, but there is something in me that makes me feel like an old baba when I hear the word mature.
Cougar is another story. It brings to mind Carmela Soprano with the big hair and the makeup that is a bit to thick. Spandex pants and leopard print tops....its enough to make me want to hurl!! And I swear to you that photo is my only Carmela Soprano outfit!
And at what age is a woman considered a cougar anyway? I may be 39 but I can pass for 25 on a good day...and have...with women yet! Sure I take care of my skin and my body, I keep up with my hair and I dont pile on the makeup, but do I still fit into cougar status?
So these are my questions.
When is a woman considered a cougar?
Do I look like a cougar or mature?
Just a point of reference...I have had younger men and they cant keep up with me sexually.....ha! Just a jab!
In other news my friend gave me the fitness program P90X because I am getting sick of the gym. Monday I start. I am suppose to be shredded after 90 days...pics to follow if it actually happens. And tonight I start my ballroom dance lessons. Update tomorrow.
Ciao my friends and remember not to send me email with the word mature or cougar in it otherwise I am going to come wherever you are and hurt you!
love bella~
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In Search Of Man
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Pubblicato:4 Marzo 2009 6:36 pm
Ultimo aggiornamento:8 Giugno 2012 9:49 am 24403 visite
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I am happy today. I am happy because I purchased my brand new Jenn Air wall oven. Ohh, now it is sexy beyond belief. All stainless steel, convection and digital. It has a bunch of options that I will never use but it sure looks pretty! Now the hole in my tower is too small and I need to have a man make it larger to accomodate my pretty purchase. That is the next step. To find a guy who can make my hole larger and install the equipement. Ha! I had some fun with that!
A girl can get quite excited about kitchen appliances. Now, I may not be the type of girl to use it daily but I still want to have one that is attractive, functional and the talk of the town for when the urge to bake strikes me. It is sort of like a man. I may not need him all the time but it's nice to know he is there.
In all honesty it is too pretty to dirty up and I am just as happy looking at it but I do have some baking I would like to do. I have an awesome biscotti recipe, homemade pizza and foccacia and of course my fall off the bone ribs that I finish up in the oven. Now I just need to find someone who will eat my creations from my oven.
I need a man as dependable as my oven, someone shiny and new as to mean not been around the block way to many times, impressive, functional, as hot as I punch in his temperature to be at the flash of my breast. Most men I have known are like microwave ovens, they heat up instantly and go off in 20 seconds.
Enough said, I am becoming obnoxious tonight. It must have been the bit of vodka I had after work. Gotta go, I am behind on reading my favorite blogs and answering mail.
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Angel
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Pubblicato:3 Marzo 2009 3:33 pm
Ultimo aggiornamento:8 Giugno 2012 9:49 am 23129 visite
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I can happily say that nothing bad happened to me today. It has been a pleasant day without much in the way of anxiety. Everyone says disasters come in three's. I actually want to report I believe they come in more than three as my past weeks can attest for.
My friend Nick surprised me today. Apparently it is our anniversary of sorts. The anniversary of our friendship that started years ago. I am a little embarrassed as it is the man that is to forget all the important dates, but this time around it is me.
I had some time off this afternoon and he called me for lunch. We went to one of my favorite restaurants, dim and quiet and we ate and had a little wine to drink. Then he gave me this box wrapped so pretty in pink foil paper and ribbons. I felt my heart start to beat at just the thought of him preparing for this day that didn't even cross my mind. I opened it carefully and found a box made of a very light, almost white wood. I opened it and it was a music box.
Anyone who knows me knows that I have an affinity for music boxes. The reason I don't know, but when I have one in my hands it brings me a sense of tranquillity and love. My mother always bought me music boxes when I was young and I remember that we used to lay in bed together and just listen to the little song. They make me feel like a little girl so loved, without any worries in the world and free as a bird.
I opened the music box and it has this pretty little dancer with dark hair and a pink little dress that twirls and twirls, and it plays the song "Angel" by Sarah Mclachlan. I love that song and I didn't even know that Nick knew this. He seems to know and even more, understand me without hints or clues into many parts of me. Where it takes many words for certain men in my past to understand me even a little, Nick takes no words from me. He knows me, he feels me, a part of me that I don't like to show or to share. Strange how some souls are connected and how others, no matter how hard you try never are able to reach a common emotion.
So tonight I am going to take a long bath and relax. Tonight in bed I will have my puppies on one side of me and my little music box on the other side playing its little song "Angel" known that it is just for me.
I have learned to appreciate every kindness no matter how small, that one does for me. It is thought, the thought and the time one has of me that pulls at my heart strings and makes me feel special more than any super expensive gift does. It is the thought that counts.
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8
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Clusterfuck
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Pubblicato:2 Marzo 2009 5:00 pm
Ultimo aggiornamento:8 Giugno 2012 9:50 am 22432 visite
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Yes, Clusterfuck. That is the only word I can use to describe my day. What constitutes a clusterfuck? When many things go wrong at a time.
The day started well, I woke up and I always have to thank a higher power just for that. I got to work and realized I hadn't booked appointments today. Just as the realization hit me, my cell phone rang. I had forgotten the appointment with the guys that were going to clean my furnace and ducts. I rushed home and got into a fender bender, nothing serious just serious enough to knock out the guy in front of me and his rear lights.
You'd figure that was enough but it doesn't end there. The guys cleaned my ducts (almost sounds sexual no?) and then my home became hotter than hell. Trying to cool off was a task so I removed all my clothes and sat in front of a fan, naked. Then the doorbell, it was Purolator. I got dressed quickly but didn't make the door in time so now I have to wait until tomorrow to pick up my package.
Enough you say? Don't put us through anymore pain? I can't stop now! I had time on my hands and decided to go tanning. It was fine until I got into the tanning bed and then had an anxiety attack. Screw the tanning. I left in a hurry. Leaving I forgot my sunglasses and cellphone.
So now I am home for good. I couldn't let my puppies out onto the deck to peeps because my patio door is frozen. They peeped on my subwoofer. I am scared to take a bath thinking I might drown. I am scared to go to sleep because who knows what will happen.
Sorry to be so rude just talking about myself and not asking you about your day.
Hi honeys, how are you's? How was your day?
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15
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Living The CityHookups.com Life
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Pubblicato:1 Marzo 2009 7:55 am
Ultimo aggiornamento:8 Giugno 2012 9:50 am 24044 visite
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I think that being on this site has changed my perceptions as what is considered normal. In most situations I don`t think it matters as this site is a sex site as my sexual desires are unchanged since my time here. Friendship is still friendship and decorum is still only practiced by some. But what I did find in regards to myself is that my behavior on dates is like a full on real view on my profile.
Last night my firefighter took me out. I had a great time apart from the slight shakes I still had. And rather than having him think I was withdrawing from some illegal drugs I was honest and told him I had an anxiety problem that has crept up in recent days. He is tall and looks so strong, self spoken and intelligent...and then came the problem.In conversation I found my CityHookups.com profile coming out of me as though I was applying for a date. Hi, My name is whatever, I am 5 feet, I weigh this and my natural hair color is this and my eyes are this. He asked my interests....oh yeah, I like exhibitionism, sex on the beach, sex in places I should not be...
I did realize I was acting a touch strangly when he didn`t ask me for a blow job or if we were going to fuck right away. And then I knew he was a keeper. We had a great night, dinner and a movie and then back to my place for some wine and talk. We set up another date and he kissed me goodnight.
I really do find myself living the CityHookups.com life at least in my head. On this site the only things that define me are my photos and thats okay because I love being looked at. My profile gives a basics of what I am interested in sexually speaking, and my blog is the only real look into the window of who I am, a hint of my life, my loves and my heart. I should send my blog out for dates instead of me!
I am happy that those I consider my friends on this site have a real grasp of who I am and what I am. For this reason I deleted many people off my friends list...they dont know the real me, the only know ``bella`` and her photos and have no interest in knowing more. I thank all my friends for being there when I need them. As for me, it`s going to be a lazy day. I want to read and listen to my ipod, play with my puppies and take a long bath. Ciao my friends, I`ll be back later to visit you all.
baci,
L.
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18
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Serenity Now
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Pubblicato:27 Febbraio 2009 7:12 am
Ultimo aggiornamento:17 Agosto 2013 2:28 am 23233 visite
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I am here in front of my laptop waiting for the restoration crew to arrive. They are still not done as it took 3 days for my kitchen. Today they tackle the living room as I have a very open concept home. Then on Monday the entrance and hallways. With all that has happened, considering the outcome and work that is being done to make home what it once was, I should be thrilled...and I am. But last night I began to have anxiety attacks again, something that I have been battling for the last 4 years.
I am not the high strung, stressed out person I once used to be. At one time overanalysis of everything was my downfall which in turn caused my anxiety. I went for therapy and learned to let go. But over the years it creeps back on me with no warning and during one of these times years back I began my battle with prescription drugs.
Anti depressants never worked for me so the powers that be began prescriptions of brain relaxers. I was told they were addictive yet never believed it. In times of anxiety one pill became two, two became three and so on until I could no longer keep up with the limited prescriptions my doctor had prescribed. And thats when one decides to hit other doctors, clinics....anywhere I could get what I needed to sustain the day and to function without the shakes and panics and the feeling of impending doom.
It was back in 2007 that I quit with much help from friends and family. But you know, the little bit of addict I have inside of me never threw away my stash of pills. Of course I disposed of very little for the sake of appearances with doctors and family but the bulk of the pills is put away for not so easy access when I need it in those times of desperation.
Last night I began to have these thoughts, these little anxiety attacks for no reason at all. I try to do everything to ignore them, I get busy, put on music, tv, call someone...anything not to think about how I am feeling and the only way I know how to feel better. Last night I took a recommended dosage of this little yellow pill that helps me to relax. But the thought is always there even when the attack dissipates. In these times the feelings of loneliness and fear of everything and everyone is enough to make me want to hide under my bed and cry until it is over.
This morning I am a little shakey and a little nervous. I am glad I have company today as the stories about their husbands will be enough to help me appreciate the life I am so lucky to live, the home that I still have, and the family that would do anything for me no matter what the consequence. But even with all this...deep inside me is this little voice and feeling that I still feel the odd time that cries out for reasons I don't understand, that hurts beyond any physical pain immaginable. My job now as a woman, not a child, is to understand, manage and believe that I can control my pains, my anxieties and my urges to destroy all that I have worked so hard to gain....to maintain and to replace all the hurt that is inside me with positive thoughts and positive actions. The strength to surpass rather than succumb is what I need, is what I want, and is what I need help with if I am going to be completely honest.
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18
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The Fire And The Fireman
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Pubblicato:25 Febbraio 2009 7:48 pm
Ultimo aggiornamento:8 Giugno 2012 9:51 am 21470 visite
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My home is being cleaned from top to bottom, walls, drawers, couches etc. The women sent to do the job do not wear pretty little maid uniforms...not even close! And who can blame them...its a hard job. So the last 2 days I have been watching and guiding them through my home to clean the smoke damage. Apart from my oven, my microwave is so stinky from smoke they will replace that also. In addition, the tv in my kitchen has to go also. New appliances never hurt a girl! The air filter is doing wonders and with the combination of the cleaning chemicals one would never know I had a fire. A few more days and they will be gone.
I am getting ready for my hot date with the firefighter. He actually called me last night to see how my home was doing and just to chat a little bit. He seems very nice, soft spoken and humorous. Other than dinner I don't know where he is taking me so the decision making as to what to wear has become more difficult. I have decided a dress for sure, high heeled knee high boots, and I am going to leave my hair curly for the occasion. Believe it or not it has been so long since I went out on a real date I have more than just butterflies. Just thinking I am going to be with a real man for the evening has me feeling like a 16 year old girl. But I am not 16 and I have to remember to leave all the baggage behind and concentrate on being my true self and to just enjoy myself.
I wonder if the jokes about firefighters are true? I was told he has a hose to put out my fire.....pun, pun, pun!!! Who knows what others are out there! They are cute anyways! My friends have been giving me warnings but I just think about the calendars...warm I am...whew!
Ok, enough of that. Lola and I have some things to do. We'll be back later hopefully to blog.
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11
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Nappy Time
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Pubblicato:24 Febbraio 2009 4:40 pm
Ultimo aggiornamento:8 Giugno 2012 9:51 am 21246 visite
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Hi, my name is Lola. I am Bella's better half or lower half...whatever.
Bella can't come out to play tonight or blog tonight. She says she is just too tired....And I quote verbatum
"I am too tired I can't even spread my legs."
"Oh, my feet hurt"
"Oh, I must be getting old."
She sucks.
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9
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Hot Little Maids
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Pubblicato:23 Febbraio 2009 2:56 pm
Ultimo aggiornamento:8 Giugno 2012 9:52 am 22257 visite
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I am still living in a smoke filled pit and the smell is driving me mad. My dogs and I have the same cough and my heart goes out to them. But today I had some relief through my insurance company. A quite handsome man came to do an estimate of damage to my home and my oven. It was estimated at $12,000.00 without my oven coming into play. And tomorrow I am a lucky, lucky girl as a cleaning crew will come out and begin the process of washing my walls and floor. They are going to steam clean all soft surfaces, wash all dishes and glasswear, windex and buff, clean and shine my home until the cows come home.
Now, this is the fun part. Apparently 3-5 girls in hot little maid uniforms will be here doing the job. Unfortunately I do not have a maid uniform but if I did I would put in on for the big events this week...high heels included. Instead I have my little apron (that is the only domestic photo I have of myself so it has to be good enough.) A big mother of a hepa air filter they left in my dining room running until possibly friday has already cleared up the air...and now I am still polluting it by smoking...go figure.
All in all it has worked out great except for the fact I had to cancel all appointments this week as I don't want strange women in my home while I am working. There's my spring vacation..,boo hoo.
I did have a good thing happen though. A firefighter left me his number after they put out my fire. He told me to use it when I got a fire extinguisher and he would come out and look at it. I called and he came this afternoon and asked me out on a date. A date! I am excited! He is so tall and handsome! I can't believe he didn't remember what a hag I must of looked like through all that black smoke.
I have come to a conclusion today. Out of all bad that happens some good can come out of it. I get a brand new built in oven, I get my home cleaned by professionals and I get a date with a hot firefighter. Maybe someone is looking over me and maybe my luck has turned. Maybe the start of good karma coming my way. I can only pray and be thankful for what didn't happen the other day.
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8
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Risposte Più Recenti dagli Altri Membri
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