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| Blogs > rm_bella_ > Confessions Of An Italian |
My Experience With Unlady Like Things
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My Experience With Unlady Like Things Okay, tonight I am going to talk about something women rarely admit to being afflicted with, and the only reason I am going to speak of it is because I am on a quest of honesty. Get ready, here it comes. Last night I had my date with the firefighter which I will get to later. Before the date I decided to indulge because of the brutal fitness program I am embarking on tomorrow. I went through drive through because I am just lazy and I ordered myself a hamburger and onion rings from A&W which I love but rarely eat. I got home and demolished the burger and onion rings with no guilt because I will suffer for it for the next 90 days. I was feeling pretty good, took a bath and got all prettied up for my date. Mr. Fireman came to pick me up and I was thrilled to be going to dinner with him. That meant I could eat some more since I was on the no guilt trip thing. We went to a restaurant, a very nice one, and we got the menu's. Now, I am not the type of girl to order salad at the best of times. I feel like it puts men off and apart from that I am Italian, I like to eat well even though I dont do it on a regular basis. So I ordered ribs because neither am I embarassed about using my fingers or wiping bbq sauce off my lips....they just taste better afterwards. So I ate my ribs and finished and we ordered dessert, cheesecake which I cannot resist and I was still feeling no guilt. After dinner we went to a club briefly to dance and thats when it started. My stomach was feeling queesy and I had some heartburn which I cannot stand! No harm done though, I danced and ignored it until I had a few drinks. Now I was really queesy, heartburn and then the gas started. Okay, its not the first time I have had gas and I am good at hiding it, but this gas felt like an atomic bomb that needed out. If I would have let them go they would have been loud and a danger to the environment. And this is exactly when he wanted me to go back to his place and see it. I was weary....actually in a panic! But I was a trooper. The acid was in my mouth and the other end was feeling like something I have never felt before and thats when he wanted to kiss me and get closer. I tried, only higher powers know I tried, keeping the acid down and the gas in. I was turning green. And then it happened, I excused myself to the bathroom and prayed something would be in his medicine cabinet I could take. Nothing. I came out of the bathroom and came clean saying I wasnt feeling well. He gave me a pepcid and I had to call it a night because by that point I needed a bathroom and not just any bathroom, I needed my own! He called today and I told him of my sin. He laughed and came over for cappuccino. We made another date. I promised not to eat beforehand. As of midnight tonight I am done. I am on program and tomorrow is my first workout. I am still suffering with the gas although I am alone and my dogs dont mind. Gas, heartburn, diarrhea...I had them all in my pretty little black dress. The gas made my straightened hair curl and I fear this poor man thinks there is something wrong with me constantly. I hope there are men out there that can appreciate a woman with these problems. I feel like this is like alcoholics annonymous. "Hi, my name is Bella and I am recovering from gas, cured for 2 hours......just love me anyways!"  |
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3/8/2009 8:50 pm |
LOL....what???? You have such problems...and You fart, for heaven's sake GF...and it doesn't smell like roses???? OMG>>>>Let 'er rip Sweetie...Men are way worse...so they will surely understand an occassional explosion. hugs TASTE LIFE IN ALL IT'S FLAVOUR
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3/8/2009 9:01 pm |
"Gas, heartburn, diarrhea...I had them all in my pretty little black dress. The gas made my straightened hair curl and I fear this poor man thinks there is something wrong with me constantly." LOL! No, what he thinks is you're beautiful, honest, and have a good sense of humor. Now if your bad case of diarrhea had hit when you were in his bathroom, that might be a different story!  [image]
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3/8/2009 9:05 pm |
Lol, I thought those kinds of things only happened to me. No worries Bella, I'm a firefighter too and we've all smelt way worse things than hot italian women who ate too many ribs.
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3/8/2009 9:12 pm |
Gas isn't so bad... some of the smells *I* bring home from a bad day at work are enough to peel paint off the walls.  Seriously, though... one of my former girlfriends had a 'sensitive' stomach. As soon as I found out, I had antacids and Pepto-Bismol in my medicine cabinet from that point on. Nobody *I* spend time with is going to have to force themselves to endure gas pains...
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Heroic and funny too! I thought only men had such...problems! I hope your date is delightful.
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3/8/2009 9:15 pm |
At least he made another date with you. Any man would see past the gas to the amazing Bella we all know. Women are human and humans get gas. If any guy has a problem with that buy a blow up doll.  
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3/8/2009 10:26 pm |
ok... for the next time remember the 3 magic words... this is what men do to cure it ... just say: PULL MY FINGER!!!  works for me!  ...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!... 
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3/9/2009 4:08 am |
Hi Bella.............all a fart of being a human or any animal for that matter....................................................... Meow....Meow................ THE CAT
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3/9/2009 4:41 am |
Hi Bella.......When you have some time....could you send me some basic info on this P90X workout system......where i can get info to review....basics of it.....On days when i don't go to theY i do basics at home and this place is putting in a smaller gym which would be the cat's meow for those tiring busy days.....but that is still in the works for the next couple of months........ Meow...my Dear...... THE CAT..............
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3/9/2009 4:41 am |
And some people out there actually complain that the internet distances us. The best part of this gastronomical atom blast is that I only had to read about it. Who hasn't been there? Next time, have some milder menu items. It's ultimately a good sign that he's an understanding guy, so chalk it up to being human. You're still sexy as hell.
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Beano darlin, Beano. If you know what foods will get you gassy, take it before you go out. Aut viam inveniam aut faciam Tips for Guys to Meet Women  Things i miss most about relationships
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3/9/2009 9:38 am |
Bella lately you have been haveing some bad days and nights. I am sure it will get better. But it was funny as hell.
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3/9/2009 11:00 am |
Bella, you handled it like a champ! lol Very funny situation to imagine from the side lines. I got invited back to a lady's place and had to excuse myself to the bathroom as well. In there hoping it wont be too loud of a bomb while I looked around hoping for some "febreeze" lol. I needed to let go so bad my eye started to twitch lol Hey, gas is gas, and it happens to everyone, so don't feel bad. Surprised he didn't see that something was bothering u. Sorry u had such a evening, but its a funny situation for sure. I have had cheesecake for my birthday for as long as I can remember. Its sooooo good. oh, and your a beautiful Italian Bella
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3/9/2009 1:31 pm |
Been there, Bella. I too have left a date earlier than I wanted for that reason. But I'm sure your firefighter friend will appreciate the honesty, and probably likes you more, because now, you're human. Take care, dear. Rikki
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3/9/2009 1:47 pm |
You're too funny bellz, but you're human and its no big deal. roaming the cyber streets of blogland  
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3/9/2009 2:41 pm |
Bella, sounds like you might have gotten a slight case of food poisoning, it happens more than you think and most people think they have the flu. Don't worry about it, I would feel the same way if the roles were reversed. At least you were honest with him, sometimes things like that can create a misunderstanding and he may have thought that he did something wrong to make you leave. I think we all appreciate honesty and even though it may be embarrassing to tell it is better than leaving it up to our imagination because we tend to imagine the worst.
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Bella don't worry we women have been there, men usually are worst. Can't be helps, we have little embarrassed moments but we all human, trying to be comfortable in places. That was very nice your fireman was very understanding, even asked for another date with you. You go girl !!! 
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3/9/2009 5:18 pm |
Drink a glass of gingerale..and i'll rub your back and you will forget about all of that gas!!!
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Greetings Bella~~ Join the human race...biology affects us all and nerves don't make it any neater....your ability to confess all and firefighters laughter and follow up cappo says it all....relax, enjoy and make it a night he's proud to serve... 
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HEARTBURN - Alicia Keys Lemme, (oh oh oh) Lemme, Lemme, Lemme Lemme tell you something Tell ya how I feel When he comes around I gettin to feelin ill It's a aching feelin Inside my chest It's like I'm goin in to cardiac arrest, uh Adrenaline rushin in my body, All my power I just can't fight it. Doesn't matter how,I keep on tryin I can't deny I've got this heartburn Burnin in my soul (heartburn) Call the fire department (ooh ,heartburn) It's out of control (heartburn,ohhh) You got me trippin, slippin Gettin beside myself I tried some medication But don't nothin help So I said, Doctor doctor, tell me will I die And he said “count to five Alicia” And I'm gone be alright Lets go, 1, 2, 3, 4 Adrenaline rushin in my body, All my power I just can't fight it. Doesn't matter how,I keep on tryin I can't deny I've got this heartburn Burnin in my soul (heartburn) Call the fire department (ooh ,heartburn) It's out of control (heartburn) ohhh Taste so good, I can't resist, (woahhhhhhhhhh) Gettin harder to digest, (woahhhhhhhhhh) Can't take no mo, Gotta shake it off, woahhhhh Now break it down, and take it to the ground with me now Everybody say oh. Ohh, uh oh oh, ohhhhhhhh Uh oh oh, woahhhhh Don't you know I got this (heartburn) Burnin in my soul (heartburn) Call the fire department (heartburn) It's out of control (heartburn) What you trynna do? (heartburn) Burnin' in my soul (heartburn) Call the fire department (heartburn) uh It's out of control (heartburn) ohhhhhhhhuh Shake it, Shake it, Shake it off (go head girl) Shake it, Shake it, Shake it off (ohhhooohhh) Shake it, Shake it, Shake it off (go head girl) Shake it, Shake it, Shake it off (ohhhooohhh) Go head girl ohhhhhohhhhhh Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature. Marilyn Monroe
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3/10/2009 12:25 pm |
It not only can happen to the best of us, IT DOES!!! lol It's kinda like newton's law. If something can go wrong it will. Getting over the embarassment is the worst. If the fireman os genuine then the "insident" will be forgotten or laughed at sure enough. Guess it kinda gives new meaning to the phrase "shit happens"....
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3/10/2009 12:42 pm |
Guess that's one fire he couldn't put out. I'll be glad to swing by when you are over it.
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LOL....what???? You have such problems...and You fart, for heaven's sake GF...and it doesn't smell like roses???? OMG>>>>Let 'er rip Sweetie...Men are way worse...so they will surely understand an occassional explosion. hugs
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"Gas, heartburn, diarrhea...I had them all in my pretty little black dress. The gas made my straightened hair curl and I fear this poor man thinks there is something wrong with me constantly." LOL! No, what he thinks is you're beautiful, honest, and have a good sense of humor. Now if your bad case of diarrhea had hit when you were in his bathroom, that might be a different story! [image]
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Lol, I thought those kinds of things only happened to me. No worries Bella, I'm a firefighter too and we've all smelt way worse things than hot italian women who ate too many ribs.
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