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Confessions Of A Trouser Clown
 
























My Confessions for the world to know, and a few of yours to go along with mine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Much Love, Much Respect, and Great Adventures to Follow.


























Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
2 For The Money.....
Posted:May 7, 2012 4:53 am
Last Updated:May 7, 2012 7:03 pm
9895 Views





Getting closer and closer on the countdown.





2 Days to go.....





Are you scared?











2 Comments
Be Sure.....
Posted:May 7, 2012 4:50 am
Last Updated:May 7, 2012 4:51 am
9403 Views




I leave this rule for others when I am dead, be always sure you're right - then go ahead.

..................................................

~Davy Crockett~






0 Comments
A Little Bit Closer.....
Posted:May 6, 2012 10:41 pm
Last Updated:May 8, 2012 6:56 pm
10789 Views





Okay, so to continue on the story of this weekend and more details in addition too Not What I Expected So here we go.....



So I didn't really sleep once I got back to the apartment, I got a little nap, woke up early, and didn't do much other then give you all the details of the night. Not too long after typing, retyping, and finding all my errors. It was about 3:30pm and I decided to pop in a movie to watch, and 20 minutes in my phone goes off from her. "We're swimming, you coming over?" ..... Uh, Hell YES. Told her I'd be there in 20 minutes. I had to wash the stripper glitter off of me and wash the nutts..... you know, just in case

I get there, and it's the same crowd as last night; the friend, the couple, my new hero, the wife of another couple that is just a good friend, plus 2 . The put a quick halt to nudity. The belonged to the couple, and I was hoping that maybe, just maybe once the kidos had to go to bed, they'd be leaving, but we'll just have to see.

So I pants the shorts into the swim trunks and cannon ball in to get the slackers sitting outside the pool wet, I did succeed.

So there were a few hours of just hanging out at the pool, coworker was looking good, and I did my normal whispering it to her and making her blush and coo. I was stuck again with talking with the husband of the couple and his egotistical asshole self and having to listen to his bullshit. Thankfully the new hero was there to help and not make it completely unbearable. All the girls wanted group pictures and my reputation of photography was demanded, and 30 photos and 90 tries later (You know how women are) they were happy, lol.

More swimming, more listening to deuce bag's rambling bullshit (at this point he's beginning to piss a lot of people off), a few more beers to deal with him, and finially to getting the food charred and burnt on the grill curtsey of the ass hole claiming to be a restaurant quality cook, but he makes sandwiches for a living, lol.

After the food, he attempted to make margaritas that were, what you'd call, just plain nasty and weak, and he did it all in the wrong order. So I took his cocky ass down a notch, pushed him out of the way and became the savior of alcohol needs and made the best the girls have ever had. They told him to not make theirs anymore. Soon the friend and the wife of the other couple left. We started a diving competition to have a little fun. Me and Hero were doing "One Uppers" as deuce bag was telling his one upper stories that he couldn't back up.

So I get up to one up his "Jack Knife", no problem. I take a big leap, Nice air time, perfect form, piercing the water, and BAM, straight leg slammed into the bottom of the pool, and the worst pain that I have ever experienced. and I know I have fucked something up, it's already my bad knee and this impact has done some kind of damage. I come up screaming obscenities that could make a sailor blush. Thankfully the have heard it all.

I get out, stumble around the pool to walk it off, and coworker comes to me and says, "Now man up, I don't like a pussy" and I assured her that I am no pussy, what just happened puts pro football players out of commission for 2 years. and I'm just adjusting to the pain. Nothing a stronger margarita won't fix.

Just before the next event she asked for a "measurement" in numbers of myself to which she did not believe. I asked if she wanted to see to which she replied yes. I grab my phone and show her to which she seems to have been waiting for. I show her and she choked as she said I wasn't lieing, to which I replied I wasn't even hard in the pic. Cue her imagination and lusty look at me. Oh it WILL happen, sometime.

Soon one of the little ones says they are sleepy, thoughts of glory start running through my head. And the words, "Can they sleep in one of the rooms" are spoken, and "FUCK" goes through mine. So the kiddies are put to bed, words of skinny dipping are uttered, and additional margaritas are made. As we are inside she gets onto her knees in the living room where only I can see her, she bends over, spreads wide and gives me a nice tease show of her playing with her pussy, I would have gone in there, but everyone else would have followed me. She gives me the Shhh sign to say nothing and I enjoy the little show she's giving me. We go back outside and then they all start talking and I'm getting impatient. So I go up the slide, drop trow, and they still didn't notice until someone looked up and could see my tattoo and asked the question "Are you naked?" to my response "Why aren't you?". The girls chant for me to "Slide Slide Slide Slide" to witch I oblige.

It's a little chilly, and I admit at this point I'm more of a grower then a shower. So I begin to call them all out, peer pressure under the influence of my margaritas is near to none until you involve cold water. But eventually deuce bag falls first except he had to get in to get naked in the water, pussy. Yeah, he was really less impressive then he talks and getting out very soon due to no reason. Then his wife gets in and he was being an even bigger asshole as wife wife removed her top. Claiming that because I was naked he was uncomfortable with her being in the pool. I mean sure she's cute, but not my type, I was watching coworker my eyes weren't even on his wife.

So soon after coworker jumps in and then her top comes off, and OMG so worth the wait beautiful little half dollar nipples and are hard enough to cut glass thanks to the water. And my eyes were not leaving her and she was loving it. Until deuce bag is becoming more unbearable, and he's now trying to avoid the the whole situation. He walks away and she tells me she's becoming annoyed with him. I take the opportunity to tell her about mine and his conversation last night outside the bar and what happened as he was trying to pick up another woman at the same time.

She admits that because of recent events and his attitude and hearing this new info, the 3 way with him is off, (mission control, operation screw him over has taken effect) and her disgust with him has reached a max. And I also take the time to admit things that she apparently already knew but has been scared of because we are coworkers and she has been fearful I'd act differently or say something. This is where I tell her things that no one but my readers here have known. That I am a swinger, I can keep a secret, and that I have been involved with past coworkers, and other couples and married women without breaking and telling. This did intrigue her a little more.

So soon the others are in the house, deuce bag is drying our towels and has his soul focus on the towels, no reason why. His wife is making more drinks, and hero is shooting pool by himself. It's just me and her in the pool, we have kept some distance and I ask her permission to come closer in which she agrees to, I have my trunks back on and she has her bottoms on so she feels more comfortable this way. We rub and grind, I caress her as she is holding onto the side of the pool. I tell her that I wished the whole night was just us being alone like this, not to just be sexual, but to feel desired to which she moaned to.

A few moments later everyone comes out, and she moves to the side of me, but I keep a hand to her back to keep her from getting further away. As we are all talking my hand goes down to her ass, caressing that beautiful ass, and then I said to myself, "Fuck It, Go for it!". I slide my hand in-between her legs and begin to explore where I've always wanted to explore before, and she's not moving away or saying no. She just looks at me with an almost orgasmic look in her eyes as I reach her clit. She's enjoying it and my chances has increased to full max when ever we can be alone. After a few minutes to where she can't take anymore she has to move away.

As time goes on deuce bag has become unbearable, and as his wife is back in we taunt him, I call him out to being a "Pussy" which is apparently his trigger word, and he demanded I call him a pussy one more time..... "PUSSY!!!!!" so he dives in and tries to take my legs out from under me. Now I know he's stupid, but this is the dumbest thing he could have ever done, I have a good 50 pounds on him and much more strength then he does. So while hes under I lock his arm behind him, choke hold and keep him under for a good 20 seconds to which his wife begs to let him up and I do. As he comes up I ensure he is okay look him in the eyes and tell him that was not a smart thing and to never try to attack me again on land or water. The look in his eyes are one of a defeated dictator. (Mission Control, Operation Screw Him Over has reached critical mass.)

At this point he and his wife go in, and coworker calls him stupid and continues on his dropping appeal. And I admitted to the joy of putting him into his place. The wife and hero come out of the house, we all talk more and laugh, enjoy the topless-ness. And it's about time to call it quits within the hour, but we can't find deuce bag, he is no where to be found. Not in any room or closet. He's just gone. Apparently I damaged him mentally.

I ensure to coworker everywhere to ensure he isn't thinking of doing something stupid. She changes for bed in a hot little hot pink lacy boy shorts and short t-shirt, She ensure that the others are not going to be driving. As we go back into her room she leans over the bed and I grab her hips and grind into her, she looks back at me and says "Bad Boy" and enjoys the feeling as am I. We try to find deuce bag, and no one can find him. We call out for him, no response. He must have started walking home. I tell them I'll look out for him on my way out, but I have to go the opposite way, I have to go to my mothers to put the dogs in for the night.

I did try to get a kiss from coworker, and apparently the tequila was wearing off, but I did get a very intense hug and edge of the mouth cheek kiss. She tells me she's still concerned about work an all. I told one day I'll ensure her that she'll have nothing to fear.

So I take off with a nice ass flash from her as I pull out of the driveway. I keep my eye out for the asshole, but he's no where near where in sight. I make it to put the dogs up, and now my knee is killing me, very hard to walk. Once I make it home at 2am, the walk up the steps is very painful and taking me 10 times longer then normally. I wrap my knee, Take care of other "Business", then lay down, elevate it, and try to sleep it off. I awaken at 6 in more pain. I admit defeat and hobble myself to the truck to get to the ER.

So I get into the ER, I get x-rayed, and then I get the news, I have a torn MCL. At this point the ER doctor pissed me off when he was telling me what had to be done and actions to be taken, and I told him that I can't afford it. He had a look and tone of utter disgust toward me and questioned why. Because, I work and live paycheck to paycheck. He scoffed at me and said "times are tough" and walks out. Fuck, Like I have his paycheck? I'm a working man, not a doctor. He should be glad that I couldn't jump up and chase him down.

So, all in all, it was a good time. It's not a good time until someone gets hurt right? it's just the worst timing possible, it defiantly puts a very big damper on me and throws me into a major depression of it all. How am I going to get through this? I can't afford insurance, and even if I could now his is considered a "Pre-existing" condition and it would be a year before anything can be done. So over the next few weeks I'm gonna be looking into anything that can be done, and cheap. Until then it's an immobilization brace and my adjustable Camera stabilization rod as a cane.

Maybe I can get coworker over to help me get around and then I can get her alone ..... worth the pain for that.



And By the way, they did find deuce bag eventually, He did come back outside, but went to a dark corner of the yard, standing 2 feet from the wooden fence just staring at the fence. Nothing but standing there. Mission Control, Operation Screw Him Over, Complete. I must have seriously triggered something in him. He was standing there for about 3 hours, in the dark, just staring at the fence. Very weird








6 Comments
3 And Counting.....
Posted:May 6, 2012 7:50 pm
Last Updated:May 6, 2012 11:27 pm
9813 Views





We're getting closer and closer.





3 Days To Go.....





Are you ready?








2 Comments
Not What I Expected.....
Posted:May 5, 2012 12:04 pm
Last Updated:May 6, 2012 8:01 pm
10469 Views





So I know many are awaiting the results of the night out with "Coworker" on her "Free" weekend. Well, it's was nothing to what I expected and no where near to what I hoped.

We went to a Mexican restaurant, I was asked to go ahead and get a table for everyone in the bar section. Yep, not just me and her, and it was to be the couple that wants a 3-some with her and her friend that she has tried to set me up with, but I could in no way be with her, but she does try her damnedest to get one me every time I'm around her, and there's just something that I can't put my finger on that makes me not just say no, but HELL NO!!!!! And there should be a few more people to be along as well So I get there and I'm told they will be along soon.

So I get the party table, I tell her I'm there and got the favored table, and she tells me great, they'll be along soon. Soon didn't come soon enough. You have any idea just how boring it is to sit at a table that can seat 12 when you're the only person there? Fucking boring as HELL!!!!! For 40 minutes I ate some very tough chips with some of the best queso dip I have ever ate, played some angry bids, ran though in my head how I was going to get her away from everyone to give her the gift.

Well I get a text that they were walking in and BAM!!!!! Low cut titties a showing, finger licking, not just slap but punch your momma in the mouth smoking hot was she! I swear the 30 foot walk was like 5 minutes in slow motion. And I enjoyed that walk and still replay it in my head even now..... I need a moment..... Okay, back to the night at hand.

So there was the couple and the friends, coworker sits next to me and I couldn't help but looking at the glorious cleavage she paid so well for I had ordered our margaritas because she was a little self conscious, as most all women do, and mostly because of the way I think her husband makes her feel..... BASTARD!!!!! All of us couldn't keep our eyes off her and her cleavage. As more and more liquor got into her the less the consciousness was taking hold, the more laughs that were had. Sadly the couple, the husband is a bit of a drag and an arrogant cocky asshole. I had to talk to him and even though he has his cool moments when we've hung out in the past, he just has that way to rub everyone wrong.

So we eat and drink, I whispered to her "You look amazing tonight" this made her blush and coo, and the look in her eyes was orgasmic. I gave her more complements through out the time there. Soon after we leave for the bar, they all road in the same car, so chances of getting her over to the apartment just went from 99% to absolute 0. And JOY I get the handsy friend riding with me. We get parked, in, and then the next worst thing happens, they want to go to the Karaoke room.

It's loud, smoke filled, and packed tighter then a can of sardines in there. But this is where one of the best things happened, to me a least. In the middle of a song I lean over to talk with her, on one of the exchanges of complements I was giving here, there we were. Face to face, eyes locked, time stopped, and I just said fuck it. I kissed her. Just a small peck, nothing amazing to write to Penthouse about. But it was something. And even she was caught off guard, but enjoyed it. the only thing that sucked after, the husband of the couple got a damn full on make out session.

After which he wanted to go outside to smoke and asked me to go along with him. We went outside and he admits to me right there on the spot "Dude, I'm going to take her home tonight for a 3-way with my wife. we've been talking about it for 2 weeks now and I'm gonna make it happen tonight." I admitted to him that I've been wanting to for over 2 years and she knows it and then his cocky asshole-ness had me almost punch him as he said, "oh, you can, only after I do her". That's just the way he was looking at her in such a way that she was just a "goal" that made me see red. But I was the bigger man and tried to change the subject, and soon after we went back in.

The band was playing, the girls were dancing on the floor and I went and joined them. Having more fun, getting hot and sweaty, locking eyes with her drawing her in more and more that I can. running my hands along her body, caressing her skin as we move in rhythm with the music. Finishing the set we find that more of our friends have joined us out. Then this hottie comes to our table passing out eatable flavored oils courtesy of a local adult toy store. I tasted the flavor I had, and I said in her ear, "I'd love to lick this off of you" at which time the wife got to it before me, then the husband, the the friend, and it was like I said "Hey let everyone else do what I wanted to". However I did get my turn, and OMG I wish I could have just stayed there.

There was the other guy at the bar that was watching all of us and he noticed how me and her were acting, he asked me what was our deal, I told him, and then he began asking her why wasn't she giving the guy whom wanted to be with her the most her full attention. Pulled us to the dance floor for a slow song dance, where she admitted things felt strange but that she was enjoying it. Which I could understand us working together and our friendship and all, but damn, mixed signals much? We continued the dances and talked, but noting more.

One of the best thing I did witness right after we dance was when one of the late arrivers put his cigarette out in the drink of the friend that I was tried to be set up with. Her drink would have been ruined for any normal person tasting a cigarette butt in their drink and she downed that drink over the next 20 minutes and she never saw the floating Cig, lol

At this time after the dance I asked her to follow me to the truck to get her gift, she kept saying "no" to it. No matter how many times I asked, she didn't want to leave everyone else..... Damn It!!!!! So we danced more, more got to lick more oil from her cleavage, More drinks were had. And then finially someone mentioned going to the strip club, and we were out the door...... Only to come across yet another guy that wants her. I mean damn, talk about my chances going from 0% to -5,000%. I was frankly fed up at this point, and I became vocal of it. It took 20 minutes to leave, and if we wouldn't have been standing around picking up more people, I would have gotten out of the bar Tab free, but no, someone had to go pay the waitress for their drinks, which made her come track the rest of us down.

So we make it to the strip club and while waiting on everyone to get there, I down a few more beers in the parking lot just to make it an even dozen in me. As we are walking in, apparently my hero with the cigarette butt in the drink he paid for everyone to get in, sweet, now I didn't have to cover anyone. We find our tables to sit at, I go break some large bills for some stripper bait. And then my new best friend walks up to the table with beer for everyone and 5 singles to get everyone started. I'd have a man crush if I were a gayer man, lol.

So I got to see some titties, just not the set I wanted to see, I got some vag in my face, just not the vag that I wanted. And I saw the most beautiful "Suicide Girl" stripper. I know where I'm going from now on. At least I know that strippers will love me and tell me I'm the best thing sense electricity, and give me all the attention I could ever ask for..... So long as I give them money. LOL

I continued trying my best with coworker to get her alone, or at least a kiss, but the cocky bastard saw what I was doing and decided to one up me by pulling her into him and making out with her again. Thank God the free beers kept coming, because I needed something to concentrate on.

So they were all ready to leave as some had they had to go check on or get. The night just ended with a hug and the thoughts of having a pool party at her house tonight, but sadly the wife and other friends will be there, but maybe, who knows.

Back to the blue balls, but you can't say I didn't try except for flat out forcing her.








5 Comments
How To Live.....
Posted:May 5, 2012 9:58 am
Last Updated:May 5, 2012 9:59 am
9434 Views




Be gentle to all and stern with yourself.

..................................................

~Teresa of Avila~






0 Comments
Whirlwind Of Trouble.....
Posted:May 4, 2012 4:39 am
Last Updated:May 5, 2012 9:33 am
10275 Views




What comfort can the victors of Descartes give to a man who has whirlwinds in his bowels?

..................................................

~Benjamin Franklin~








5 Comments
Scratch And Sniff.....
Posted:May 3, 2012 8:59 pm
Last Updated:May 5, 2012 9:30 am
10576 Views






Confucius says:



"A Man who goes to bed with and itchy butt will wake up with a smelly finger."



.....



But what he forgot to mention was,



.....



When the Man picks or "Scratches" his nose,



.....



He is in for a rude awakening!!!!!










6 Comments
Plunge In.....
Posted:May 3, 2012 4:23 am
Last Updated:May 5, 2012 9:28 am
10470 Views




Plunge into the deep without fear, with the gladness of April in your heart.

..................................................

~Rabindranath Tagore~






5 Comments
A Womans Place.....
Posted:May 2, 2012 8:40 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2012 7:35 pm
10279 Views





After thinking long and hard about it, I have now come to a true conclusion as to the "Woman's Place" in society.....





Women need to be a cook in the kitchen,
A Maid in the Living Room,
And an acrobat int he bedroom.



.....





Hell, I'll hire a cook and a maid!!!!!








I bet you were all thinking I was going to have something deep and serious to say


5 Comments
Yep That Got Me.....
Posted:May 2, 2012 7:41 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2012 7:14 pm
9856 Views





Yep, That sure showed me for doing something I didn't do.....














2 Comments
1 Week.....
Posted:May 2, 2012 4:54 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2012 6:26 pm
9837 Views






There's only 1 week left to go.....









Are You Ready?????








2 Comments
Never Surrender.....
Posted:May 2, 2012 4:45 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2012 4:46 am
7850 Views




They could not capture me except under a white flag. They cannot hold me except with a chain.

..................................................

~Osceola~






0 Comments

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