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Confessions Of A Trouser Clown
 
























My Confessions for the world to know, and a few of yours to go along with mine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Much Love, Much Respect, and Great Adventures to Follow.


























Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
Lets all go...
Posted:Feb 22, 2008 12:25 pm
Last Updated:Feb 26, 2008 2:29 pm
10879 Views
Lets all go the the Movies.... Lets all go to the movies.... Lets all go to the Moveis....

Sorry I couldn't help myself

Okay this was too Funny not to share.

A friend asked me to come over and watch a movie with her.

The movie "Because I Said So" with Diane Keaton and Mandy Moore. The whole basis of the story is a mother who is so overbearing and into her daughters' business. She trying to set up one of her daughters, just like a mom, by doing everything she can to push her into a relationship. Later on she decides to go "New School" and she started looking online for relationships online. And I heard the words "CityHookups.com" come out of Diane Kenton's mouth. My attention was at full focus, and BLAM right there on the screen, her computer screen had the oh so famous, to us, Adult FriendFinder And her reaction the the homepage was priceless, and some of the sound effects really threw my "goat"... you'll have to watch it to get that pun.

By now I'm laughing so hard I'm litterly rolling around, and she kept looking at me asking me "WHY it was so funny?" And of course she knows I belong to a web site that caters to certian adult activites. And I've never hid any information from her, so after the long hard laugh I admitted to being a member. And so she could see as to why i was laughing so hard.

Well it gets better, a little later in the movie, sweet Diane Kenton goes back to the computer, and she goes back to our beloved site, her curiousity got the best of her. And of course so did my friend

Okay I'm going to spoil the humor any more. I'd recomend this movie for a good laugh.

Okay, okay enough of my rambeling.

So out of curiousty have you ever been in a situation where you were with someone you know and the mention of CityHookups.com or a similar web site came about? And lets keep it to the good ones, I know there are some bad stories out there. Let's leave them in the past where they belong.

0 Comments
The Thrill...
Posted:Feb 21, 2008 10:26 am
Last Updated:Nov 9, 2008 6:13 am
10972 Views

Getting all dressed up, putting on my best. My heart is racing pounding in my chest, and my breathing is getting heavier. Everything seems as if it's moving in slow motion as I step into the moment.

Seeing everyone, the looks in there eyes, they all want a piece of me. A minute seems to go on and on. Getting out there face to face, one on one and sometimes me going with 2 or 3 at a time. With the non-stop action moments of rest are few and far between. No time to catch my breath, not time to get a drink, I've got to get back in there and dig in deep and give it all I've got.

Sweat running down my whole body, getting more and more aggressive and passionate with every passing moment. We begin to slam into one another as time is counting down an we're getting closer to the end. The glares get stronger and stronger, heart rates are pounding so hard you can hear them from a distance, grunts, groans and moans are louder and louder. I'm giving it all I've got, ding in deeper and deeper. All the the excitement is building up to the final moments, pushing and pulling becomes more intense just a little bit more aggressive.

The muscles in my legs are burning, my arms are sore, my head is pounding from all the blood flowing through my body. My body begins to ache a little, my lungs feel like they're on fire from breathing so heavy. That thrill is back, that moment is near, those pleading moments leading up the this final glorious moment is here, the ultimate score, the passions is at it's peak, the ultimate rush is back in my life.

An hour an Thirty Three pulse pounding minutes of pure excitement. I've never felt more alive then I do right now. I feel every part of my body begin to relax as the moment comes to its end. I wipe the sweat from my face and neck. I take a drink to cool my body and fulfill my thirst. I breath a moment of relief as I lay down to collapse.....

God I love the game of Soccer. How I've missed playing it, that game last night was everything I needed.

Can you tell me of a more exciting and passionate sport?
0 Comments
Reach out and touch someone...
Posted:Feb 20, 2008 11:27 am
Last Updated:Sep 19, 2008 10:35 am
10869 Views
For the majority of my life I have had the ability to make people feel comfortable and calm when they are around me or when they talk with me. I can encourage those who have doubt, I can lift the spirits of those who are down, I've even been able to help a friend with her insomnia when she can't sleep.

I guess it's why I went into the direction I did go with going into a medical style carrier. I've done Massage Therapy (Hence the name), Direct Medical Care, and Post Surgery Care. It's in my nature to take care of those who can't help themselves.

A favorite quote of mine that I can not recall who has said it:

"They'll never remember what you told them. But they'll always remember the way that you made them feel."

So what is the moment that you can remember in your life that you don't remember what they said but when they made you felt your most important, rejected, special, needed, etc.? Did it impact your life in a good or bad way?

Be open, Be honest...

0 Comments
Hmmmmmm
Posted:Feb 18, 2008 6:24 pm
Last Updated:Feb 14, 2009 4:14 pm
10795 Views

I've been here on CityHookups.com for some time now, I've seen a lot of changes that CityHookups.com have mode over the years. I've seen things come and go from their new adages. BUT I think that CityHookups.com has become,........ well. A little boring

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy talking with new people, I love reading and commenting on blogs of my friends. I think to me the excitement of the site has just gone away..... Maybe I just get tired of all the fake profiles and spammers on here. Or maybe it's that CityHookups.com have left me hanging for 4 1/2 months on getting technical issues fixed. But something has just gotten me to a point where I feel that CityHookups.com just hasn't been fun lately.

Does anyone else have similar feelings?
0 Comments
Just a few...
Posted:Feb 15, 2008 7:46 am
Last Updated:Feb 14, 2009 4:13 pm
11043 Views

Okay, This is a repost from one of my frineds, and I thought it was pretty good. Just a few questions to ask you to get to know you a little better.

Okay guys and gals, Come on, be honest, you'll be supprised at what you can learn

Just copy and paste, it's easy, simple, and it doesn't take long

1. YOUR HANDLE?
2. HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH YOUR HANDLE?
3. DO YOU SLEEP NEKKED OR WEAR SOMETHING ELSE?
4. IF YOU WERE TO KAROAKE, WHICH SONG WOULD YOU SING?
5. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
6. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT?
8. FAVORITE CLOTHES TO WEAR?
9. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
10. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL?
11. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
12. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
13. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
15. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
16. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
18. WHAT BODY TYPE DO YOU PREFER YOUR PARTNER TO HAVE?
19. FAVORITE FOOD?
20. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
21. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
22. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEXUAL POSITION?
23.WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
24. LAST THING YOU ATE?
25. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
26. DO YOU WAKE UP HORNY?
27. FAVORITE SMELL?
28. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
29. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO?
30. WHEN ARE YOU MOST SEXUALLY ACTIVE; MORNING, NOON OR NIGHT?
31. FAVORITE DRINK?
32. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?
33. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP?
34. BLONDES, BRUNETTES OR RED HEADS?
35. FAVORITE SONG TO FUCK TO?
36. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE PART IN A WOMAN/MAN?
37. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING?
38. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
39. DO YOU THINK YOU’RE A ROMANTIC?
40. SUMMER OR WINTER?
41. HUGS OR KISSES?
42. FAVORITE DESSERT?
43. M) BOXERS OR BRIEFS? (F) THONGS OR PANTIES?
44. ARE YOU LOUD WHEN YOU ORGASM?
45. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING AT THE MOMENT?
46. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
47. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
48. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
49. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME?
50. WHAT'S YOUR SPECIAL TALENT?
51. DO YOU PREFER LONG HAIR OR SHORT HAIR ON YOUR PARTNER?
52. DO YOU LIKE TO WATCH OR BE WATCHED?
53. FOR WOMEN: WOULD YOU SPIT OR SWALLOW? FOR MEN: WOULD YOU KISS YOUR PARTNER AFTER THEY HAVE SPAT OR SWALLOWED?

1. YOUR HANDLE?
Massageman00

2. HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH YOUR HANDLE?
because when I signed up I was a student of Massage Therapy

3. DO YOU SLEEP NEKKED OR WEAR SOMETHING ELSE?
Depends, 90% of the time I'm in basket ball shorts and a Tshirt

4. IF YOU WERE TO KAROAKE, WHICH SONG WOULD YOU SING?
Anything but Country, My fav though "Simple Man" by Lanyard Skinard Brings me a little hope

5. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
Just over 2 months ago was my last real cry. My grandmother passed away

6. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
HELL NO. Mine sucks!!!!! The only way you can read mine is if I write supper slow and supper small. Mine is worse then a doctors hand writing

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT?
Cajun Turkey

8. FAVORITE CLOTHES TO WEAR?
Blue Jeans and T shirts

9. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Hell yes!!! I'm fun to be around

10. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL?
Yes, come over and I may let you read it

11. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
No,.... Never

12. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yep

13. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Been there, done that, planning more tips to bigger jumps

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Honey Bunches of Oats, Honey Nut Cheerios, and Capitan Crunch

15. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Yes, I'm a bit OCD. There on the top shelf in my closet

16. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Physically yes, Mentally yes, Spiritually I'm close

17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Cookies and Cream

18. WHAT BODY TYPE DO YOU PREFER YOUR PARTNER TO HAVE?
Healthy, so long as they are healthy. Weight is not a major issue for me, but a fit body will get me going

19. FAVORITE FOOD?
Chinese, Italian, and Down Home Southern good for the soul cooking

20. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My smile and my stomach

21. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Childhood Innocence

22. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEXUAL POSITION?
Doggy, reverse cowgirl, and cowgirl are my top 3, OH and page 78 of the Kama Sutra lol

23. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Kacki shorts and flip flops

24. LAST THING YOU ATE?
Roast Pork Lo Mien

25. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
12 Stones "Home"

26. DO YOU WAKE UP HORNY?
I'm horny when I'm asleep, I'm horny all the time, 24/7

27. FAVORITE SMELL?
The smell of a Beautiful woman, the ocean air, the smell of the flowers in the spring air

28. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
A great friend Elizabeth. I miss her

29. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO?
Their smile, Their face, Their sense of humor, their body I love a nice ass

30. WHEN ARE YOU MOST SEXUALLY ACTIVE; MORNING, NOON OR NIGHT?
Remember, I said I was horny 24/7

31. FAVORITE DRINK?
Mountain Dew, Sweet Tea, and Jack Daniel's and Dr. Pepper

32. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?
Soccer

33. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP?
I'm on my laptop right now

34. BLONDES, BRUNETTES OR RED HEADS?
Absolute Favorite are Brunettes, then Redheads. Blonde's are not as fun as the songs say

35. FAVORITE SONG TO FUCK TO?
Rock, "So Hot"

36. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE PART IN A WOMAN/MAN?
Neck, lower back, legs, ass, and I'm also a Boob man

37. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING?
I love a good Happy Ending

38. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Cloverfield and I Am Legend

39. DO YOU THINK YOU’RE A ROMANTIC?
Yes, I'm hopeless

40. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer

41. HUGS OR KISSES?
Kissing while hugging

42. FAVORITE DESSERT?
My Grandmothers Custard Pie

43. M) BOXERS OR BRIEFS? (F) THONGS OR PANTIES?
Boxers and Commando I go half and half

44. ARE YOU LOUD WHEN YOU ORGASM?
I have a few grunts and groans

45. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING AT THE MOMENT?
WTF is a book?????? I'm reading "Body Mind" again

46. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
No mouse pad, drawing tablet on the desk top, and finger pad on the laptop

47. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
Mythbusters

48. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Ooooooo decisions

49. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME?
Summer trip to Italy and Greece, about a couple thousand miles

50. WHAT'S YOUR SPECIAL TALENT?
My ability to make people relax, and I can make this really weird sound with my mouth

51. DO YOU PREFER LONG HAIR OR SHORT HAIR ON YOUR PARTNER?
I love long hair, and short hair is just a fun time partner. I like long on a full time partner

52. DO YOU LIKE TO WATCH OR BE WATCHED?
Both

53. FOR WOMEN: WOULD YOU SPIT OR SWALLOW? FOR MEN: WOULD YOU KISS YOUR PARTNER AFTER THEY HAVE SPAT OR SWALLOWED?
Yes, I find it erotic, kinky and taboo
1 comment
What Starts with F and ends with K?
Posted:Feb 6, 2008 8:24 pm
Last Updated:Jan 29, 2010 3:38 am
11000 Views
What Starts with F and ends with K?

So you think you know,.... well lets see

.........

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"



Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"



Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.



While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.



Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.



Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9."

Principal: ! "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36."

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: "Pockets."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a do that a man steps in to?"
Harry: "Pants."

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"
Harry: "Coconut."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.



Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."



Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a does on three legs?"

Harry: "Shake hands."

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"

Harry: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong.

So did you get the same answers???

2 Comments
Voting day...
Posted:Feb 5, 2008 5:08 pm
Last Updated:Feb 14, 2009 4:13 pm
10873 Views
Okay, it's voting day and it's time to cast a new ballot...

I just got a new camera and I need some help with thinking of new pictures

So fellow pervs and pervets.... I need your help in thinking of new pictures to take of myself, or hopefully a volunteer or two

So be honest, be brutal, and be kinky

0 Comments
Outdoor lovin...
Posted:Jan 20, 2008 11:11 am
Last Updated:Jan 29, 2010 3:35 am
10988 Views

Yes your mind is in the right place I'm talking about outdoors sex.

Being the outdoors man that I am I'm always ready to go on a hike or a camp out at a moments notice. And Just recently I was glad I was quite ready, if you catch my drift

So I had an old friend call me up and asked if I'd like to go on a little hike with her, of course I didn't pass up the opportunity. So I grabbed my backpack and headed out the door and went to pick her up. A beautiful day, leaves turning colors, the air at just the right temperature, and a beautiful woman. The day could not get any better. A good 5 miles into the hike I knew of this nice little stream that pooled into a little pond that had a very small waterfall at the other side. So I pulled out the blanket from my backpack along with the travel pillows and we laid down and listened to the soothing sounds of the leaves rustling and the water trickling over the rocks. We talked, laying there close to one another, touching and arousing one another. She climbed on top of me as I continued to caress her petite and beautiful body, undressing her as she did the same to me. The slight breeze in the air would give her goose bumps and make her perfect little nipples stand up even more. And what seemed like hours of foreplay lead to an amazing session of outdoor sex.. Her screams and moans of passion echoed through the woods. There was no holding back from either of us, we were just like wild animals in the woods going at it. I finally came to a mind blowing orgasm after she had her 4th some time later. By far one of my favorite outdoor memories

So do you have a favorite outdoor sex story, or by chance an ideal setting for some outdoor lovin? Please share
1 comment
Sex Wars....
Posted:Jan 19, 2008 7:13 pm
Last Updated:Feb 14, 2009 4:12 pm
10789 Views

It seems as if some people are on here to see just how many sexual partners they can get with, and by all means I have nothing agianst it. I too would love to be able too as well

However, I think some people go about it the wrong way with trying to force it upon others and others of the oppsite sex or even the same sex. I mean you're not gonna call up some stranger on the phone and say "Come suck my cock!!! NOW!!!" So why do people think it's the thing to do here just because it's an adult sex site?

Just becuase we may list our sexual preferences doesn't really mean you should contact someone directly forcing the fact that what they like is improper and immoral, or that you "Must" do it to them now and you will not take no for an answer.

So my question to you is, do you respond better to someone who says "Hi" and try to act civil with a conversation, or someone who say "Fuck me now, and I don't give a damn?"
0 Comments
Sex Toys
Posted:Sep 23, 2007 9:33 pm
Last Updated:May 27, 2009 10:30 pm
11076 Views
So as the title says sex toys. I've been known to use a few on my partners, and even have a few used on me.

When it comes to sex toys I'm not embarrassed about them, I'll talk about them, use them, look at them, touch them, or even buy them.

So what are your thoughts on sex toys? Do you find it erotic when your partner comes home with a new toy? Or do you think to yourself, "dose he/she just not want to touch me?"

Do you think sex toys are natural or unnatural?

How many do you own?

Do you enjoy using them with your partner or by yourself?

What is your favorite/best in your toy chest?

Just some curious questions from a fellow toy enthusiast

4 Comments

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