Breakfast conversation
|
Posted:Mar 27, 2007 8:09 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2007 4:15 am
1835 Views
|
I was talking with a friend this morning, and she came up with the best quote of the day so far when talking about her breakfast and her love of non-flaccid bacon:
DEATH BEFORE FLACCIDITY!
In other news during our class discussion session in history the other day talking about religious testaments of people, I mentioned my conclusion that the story of the Immaculate Conception means that abstinence isn’t always 100% effective. I think I opened some minds and hearts. I have another friend says I should edit the wiki on abstinence to include that 
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Not quite as dramatic as Purpletrashcan's tale. but....
|
Posted:Mar 25, 2007 10:29 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2007 4:15 am
1861 Views
|
I thought I would post this story since I read about Purpletrashcan’s tale of brotherly love and embarrassment. It’s a little more than ten years ago, and there is no alcohol involved, but my sister just got all the details last year, so it’s relevant, and I hope, amusing.
*begin flashback….wavy lines and chimes and such*
I was in fourth grade, as I recall, making me about nine. At the time, a lot of the nationhood boys on my end of the street would come and play at my house, since we had a large unfinished basement with half of it reserved for my sister and me. It was perfect for building forts from chairs, big cardboard boxes, blankets and the like, all of which could be found in abundance. (This back before we had fancy things like Gameboys and NES’s to bide our time, you see)
One day after school three of the are over, and I decided it was time for some show and tell. You know, old school kindergarten style. I happen to know what my mother kept in the night stand next to her bed (‘cause I was a nosy ) Well, honestly I only kind of knew…I had a basic idea of sex, but I couldn’t for the life of me told you what that buzzy white missile did. But what I did know was that there was a deck of playing cards next to it. You know the kind...full-on hardcore cards from the 70’s…classic mustachios and hair ‒everywhere-, and that hard ‒to-define lighting/film quality that just screams 1970’s.
I snuck into my parent’s room from mine, which wasn’t exceedingly difficult to do, being directly across from my folk’s room at the end of the hallway, and went and got the cards. I promptly brought them back to my room where my friends and I started giggling and chuckling at the boobies and wee-wees and that drippy stuff that seemed to be in all of them. This went on for a few moments, us deep in contemplation when there was a knock on my door.
Naturally it’s my mother. From the sound of the first knock my heart started beating fast and I was panicking. When my mom opened the door, I had no words, nor did I even try to hide the cards. I was frozen like a statue. Now my mom can be somewhat oblivious occasionally, so she doesn’t notice what it is I’m holding. As I’m sitting petrified, she calmly asks: “Have you seen the bowl of cereal I made a little while ago? I can’t find it.”
To this day I can’t recollect any thought process behind my response, they just seemed to flow from nowhere, which makes some sense given how much sense it made. I just looked at her and said: “It’s in the closet.” This, of course, confused my mother who asked me just why it was in the closet. Seeing my puzzlement at her question and what I just told her, she took a closer look and just said “give me the cards,” which I of course did.
Now, like any , the first instinct when caught is to blame someone else. In this case my sister. I told mom that I had found them in her closest, and my mom left. Well, I wasn’t being yelled at, so I just kind of relaxed for a few minutes, and that was that.
*end flashback*
Over the years I had told this story to a few friends, and I finally got around to telling it to my sister last year. When I did, her eyes got a little wide and she exclaimed “That’s what happened!” It seems that right after taking the cards, my mother had gone and spanked the holy hell out of my sister, yelling about the cards and going into her room. My poor sister was crying and utterly confused.
Of course now it’s all good for a laugh
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
Rocky Horror, anyone?
|
Posted:Mar 25, 2007 9:26 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2007 4:16 am
1895 Views
|
Although I have mentioned this to some of you, GVSU is putting on stage performances of Rocky Horror Picture Show this week, and I would love to get a group together to go to the midnight showing on Friday March 30. Admission is $12. Dress up and participation is encouraged For you neophytes, (like me) the will be passing out “virgin” kits which show which lines to shout out, as well as passing out squirt guns.
If suitable attire can be found, I could be persuaded to “dress-up.” And wouldn’t that be sexy. Finding the men’s size 17 high heels might be a challenge, but hey, combat boots look sexy with stockings, and I have great calves
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
It's not Tuesday, but it's definantly TMI....
|
Posted:Mar 22, 2007 10:12 pm
Last Updated:Mar 22, 2007 10:31 pm
1828 Views
|
I didn't have much to say tonight, but Ive been in a very online social mood of late, so I thought I would do an old TMI Tuesday
1. Commando: Sexy or disgusting? Do you have a "best" commando story?
Frankly I’m rather indifferent to it.
2. Foreplay: Is there such a thing as too much?
Not as such. I love long periods of foreplay….kissing, nibbling, caressing. Being sexual with someone doesn’t always have to mean intercourse, though as time goes on and you are more and more aroused, it’s a lot more likely to slip in at some point
3. Oral sex: Good if you are getting? Good is you are giving? Equally ewwwww?
I like receiving oral sex. Of course, what guy doesn’t? But as much as enjoy it, I’m more of a giver. When I am dating someone, and have yet to be physical with them, I love thinking about their legs draped over my shoulders, fingers curled up in them, another gently playing with her ass, my tongue lashing her clit.
Probably one of the oddest compliments I have received came about this way. Years ago I was making love to a woman and she got a little dry. Being the helpful sort that I am I decided to go down on her. I got down there and got really into it and got her off a few times. After that, she pulled my head up, kissed me, and told me: “Wow…I don’t know if it’s that huge tongue, but you do that better than any of the women I have dated” Now, I was 22 at the time, and didn’t realize what the compliment that was. I was thinking: “Thanks, I think”
4. Orgasm: Is one per night enough or does the first one just get your motor running?
The first one defiantly gets the motor running. Now of course quality is more important than quantity, but why stop with one. The highest number of times I have pulled off in one night is 15. Now granted, that’s not that usual…life gets in the way, and you or your partner are busy, or have to be up early, or work. Still, though I usually think 3 is a good number
5. Morning sex: "Oh hell yes!", "Well if I have, too." or "Just get in the shower and go to work."
Oh hell yes! I love starting a morning with a little hanky-panky Waking someone up by caressing their back, moving downward a bit…
Bonus (as in optional): Have you ever had anonymous sex? Have you ever had an orgasm without at least knowing your partner's last name?
Oddly enough, yes. Most of the women I have dated, because I have met a lot of them online, I have known them by their first name, and not known their last name until three or four dates.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Best quote I have seen today
|
Posted:Mar 21, 2007 8:36 pm
Last Updated:Mar 27, 2007 10:01 pm
1839 Views
|
I was answering history questions today and I came across this quote today which made me chuckle much.
"Give a man fire and he will be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life."
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
For those of you in the Grand Rapids area, this might amuse you
|
Posted:Mar 21, 2007 5:10 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2007 4:16 am
2123 Views
|
I read [purpletrashcan memberID}'s blog post about being from Michigan, and thought I would post a few other similar memes flaoting about. If you've seen them before....well, you'll live
Metro Grand Rapids Barbie Mattel announces the release of models of Limited Edition Barbie dolls for the Metro Grand Rapids Market:
Cascade Barbie: Has freshness date on package. Do not buy after that date or product may be spoiled rotten. Comes with no appreciation for how the other 95% live. Does not have career or an idea of what makes her happy. When bought in conjunction with Hard Working Ken, she will change her appearance . . .will gain 75 lbs., will cut her hair, and belittle anyone who crosses her. No one, including Ken, is right, ever. Ken's head melts after 17 years.
Sparta Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler Jeans two sizes too small,a NASCAR shirt, and has a tattoo of a Tweety bird on her shoulder. She has big, stiff hair, a six-pack of Coors Light, and a Hank Williams, Jr., CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and can kick mullet-haired Kenny doll's ass when she's drunk. Purchase her pick-up separately and get its Confederate flag bumper stickers absolutely free. Comes with personal oncealed gun license.
East Grand Rapids Barbie: This yuppie Barbie comes with a choice of a BMW sports car or a souped-up H2. Included is her Starbucks cup, credit cards, and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper.
Wyoming Barbie: This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Taylor Barbie's house. Her make-up is dark red lip liner with your choice of lips covered in a sparkly pink or no fill-in at all. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans with assorted colored G-strings that stick out the back and a white see-through halter top. Accessories include a CD player equipped with BonJovi CD and a rusty old Ford pickup.
Plainfield Barbie: This Barbie is the same model of Barbie that was released in 1982. She comes with shoulder pads, dark polyester skirt, white pantyhose, and a bad haircut.
Heritage Hills Barbie: This doll, made of actual tofu, has long gray hair and archless feet, sandals with white socks, no makeup, doesn't shave, and has a mutt. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She thinks Paul Wellstone was a Republican.
Rockford Barbie: This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with your choice of Lexus SUV or Chrysler Town & Country minivan. Her vehicle is used for youth athletic taxi service only. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. Optional matching gym outfit.
Grandville Hills Barbie: This collagen-injected, rhino-plastic Barbie wears a leopard-print ski outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while she entertains friends at the club. Limited clothing available. Designer mini-skirts and CFM's constitute 90% of her wardrobe. Percocet prescription available. Elderly Ken completes this set. Pre-nup papers as worthless as the Chinese-made paper they are printed on.
Comstock Park Barbie: This model is only available at the JC Penney Catalog Store or at any parochial school bazaar. It cannot be purchased on Saturday night (because of Trivia nights) or on Sundays (Sunday school class). It comes with a case of Strohs Beer, pork steaks, a recipe for Hash Brown Casserole, a 1987 Plymouth Voyager, and one cell phone (circa 1982, big as a toaster) with 15 anytime minutes. She is wearing the latest fashion from Big Lots that she wore on Easter Sunday. It also comes with Ken wearing the latest MSU T-shirt (two sizes too small), a sack of White Castles, and a 72 ounce Big Gulp.
Grand Rapids Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9 mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with tinted windows, and her own Meth Lab kit. This Barbie also comes with 6 by four different Kens.
RIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs
Michigan FRIENDS: Call your parents drunk as hell and tell them about the fat chick you tried to pick up
--------------------------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Hope the night out drinking goes smoothly, and hope that no one is late for the ride home.
Michigan FRIENDS: Know some wild shit will happen, and set up rally points and an E & E route.
---------------------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
Michigan FRIENDS: Will be sitting next to you saying, Damn...that shit was fun "
------------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Cry with you.
Michigan FRIENDS: laugh at you
---------------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
Michigan FRIENDS: Steal each other ' s stuff so often nobody remembers who bought it in the first place.
--------------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Are happy that someone picked up a one night stand and leave them alone.
Michigan FRIENDS: Will Crawl naked into the room with a camera and hope for the tag team.
--------------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
Michigan FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.
------------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that ' s what the crowd is doing.
Michigan FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
--------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
Michigan FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!"
----------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will try and talk to the bouncer when you get tossed out of the bar.
Michigan FRIENDS: Will cowboy up and go after the bouncer for touching you on the way out.
-------------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will wish you had enough money to go out that night, and are sorry you couldn't come.
Michigan FRIENDS: Will share their last dollar with you, drag you along, and try to steal free drinks all night.
-----------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
Michigan FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "Bitch, you better drink the rest of that shit, you know we don't waste. That's alcohol abuse!!!" HAHAHAHA !!!!
------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Want the money they loaned you back next week.
Michigan Friends: Can't begin to remember who owes who money after taking care of each other for so long.
---------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will say "I can't handle Tequila anymore".
Michigan FRIENDS: Will say "okay, just one more..." and then 2 minutes later "okay, just one more!".
-------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
Michigan FRIENDS: Will knock them the Fuck out!!
-------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will tell you "They'd take a bullet for you."
Michigan FRIENDS: Will actually take a bullet for you.
----------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS: Will ignore this
Michigan FRIENDS: Will repost
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
Weekend movies
|
Posted:Mar 20, 2007 7:05 pm
Last Updated:May 5, 2024 1:42 am
1836 Views
|
I’ve been seeing a fair bit of movies of late. I went and saw 300 at the IMAX on Saturday. Because what better way to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day by watching Greeks kill Iranians. I know it was based off the graphic novel, but the history major in me couldn’t help but be amused by the 7 ½ foot tall Darth Xerxes and the menacing backrub he gave Leonides.
I recall during the movie feeling that it had a very early Cold War feel to it…the theme of trying to rally the West to defend freedom and reason against the Asiatic hordes and their mystical tyranny. Granted it works just as well against the backdrop the current rulers of Persia and their mystical tyranny Of course Sparta is an odd choice to defend freedom since 90% of its population were slaves, and to actually finish the right of passage had to kill slaves. Then again, Sparta was held in much higher esteem than Athens until the later eighteenth century.
Also saw Wild Hogs, which was funnier and more adult than I expected it. It’s worth it just to see William H. Macy cuddling an awkward John Travolta, and the gang teaming up to defeat Ray Liotta. It’s not Oscar caliber by any means, but I’ve seen far worse. A lot of fun cameos.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
TMI Tuesday
|
Posted:Mar 20, 2007 1:00 pm
Last Updated:Mar 21, 2007 5:02 am
1875 Views
|
You too can play along at: tmituesdays at blogspot
1. When you are out in public, do you often get hard/get wet?
Fairly often. The mind wanders, or I see a pretty woman, and well, as Wayne and Garth would say…Schwing!
2. When you masturbate, how long, typically, is your session and what do you think about (other than having an orgasm)?
I don’t really have a typical session, per se. I have a high sex drive, so it’s not unusual for me to masturbate 5 times a day. Of course that depends on how busy I am during the day and such. I usually have one longer session, say 20 minutes or so, then a few more shorter 5 minute sessions during the day if I get turned on by something.
As for what I think about, well, of course the usual, having a women’s leg wrapped around over my shoulders as I pleasure her, etc. But, and this may sound a little weird from a guy, I think a lot about kissing, and first kisses.
3. What is your most pleasurable intercourse position?
I love missionary for the intimacy, since I love kissing. For pure pleasure it’s taking a girl from behind. I always cum the fastest that way. I also really love taking her from behind while she is on her stomach. That way I can both spank her and lean forward and pin her down with my body and pull on her hair and nibble her neck.
4. How often do you use the word "fuck" (or its derivatives) in casual conversation - frequently, occasionally, rarely, never.
I use it in jokes, or to make an exaggerated point. And of course in bed I rarely use it in casual conversation. I have an ex who always thought it was cute when I would get mad and say “Fuck,” since I don’t do it that often.
5. Have you ever had a spontaneous orgasm? How when why where?
No, unfortunately I can’t say as I have 
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Amazing Grace
|
Posted:Mar 11, 2007 3:06 am
Last Updated:Mar 20, 2007 12:19 am
1874 Views
|
Went and saw “Amazing Grace” this weekend with some friend, and it is an excellent movie. It’s also a shame that no one seems to know about it. For those who don’t, the movie recounts William Wiberforce’s ling and ultimately successful attempt to abolish the slave trade in the British Empire. This being the 200th anniversary of the ending of that trade. I thought Bernard Cumberbatch really stole the show as William Pitt the Younger, certainly on of the more interesting PM’s in British history. Anyhow, if you read this, you should go see it!
Next week I think I'm getting a gang togather to storm the IMAX to see 300. I have my doubts about the Sin City version of Thermopylae, but we shall see. I may need to do a post about all these hostorial epics with these ancient leaders fighting for freedom and Jeffersonian repblicanism. I.e. Sparta, a region in which 90 percent of the population were slaves, making a stand for freedom.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
To link to this blog (zhugedave) use [blog zhugedave] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
|
|
|
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
|
111
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
202
|
212
|
221
|
23
|
24
|
|
252
|
26
|
271
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
|
