It's Your Turn
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Pubblicato:23 Aprile 2009 3:33 pm
Ultimo aggiornamento:4 Settembre 2012 5:53 pm 53794 visite
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Tonight I had all intentions of blogging and visiting friends but the last few days I have been having a problem with my neck causing headaches. I checked the phone book today and went to see a chiropractor who cracked the hell out of my neck. Right now I feel worse than I did but from experience I know that I need to wait in order to feel better.
So I am off to bed with a tensor bandage wrapped around my head as my family does with severe headaches as the shooting pains into my skull are killing me. Since I have no photo to document this all I have is a photo of my Guns N' Roses T shirt around my head. So tonight its up to you. I am always talking and embarrassing myself....you know? Blahh, blahh, blahh.....its enough already I say. Now the future of my blog until I feel better is up to you.
What do I mean? Do what you want with me, my blog, the very essence of who I am. No restrictions, take me any which way you want...do with me what you please! I am yours for the abusing or not....depends on you doesn't it?
Bella is off to la la land where the clouds are made of vanilla ice cream and the soil of the earth is all chocolate.
Arrivederci my friends, pray for me and my speedy recovery!
love always,
bella
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I Am A Hardcore Addict
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Pubblicato:22 Aprile 2009 5:22 pm
Ultimo aggiornamento:12 Febbraio 2013 12:48 pm 52935 visite
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Okay, I know I had a bad day yesterday and in all seriousness sometimes when I feel really bad I turn to something that comforts me. Don't we all? Some people do drugs, others turn to finding a lover. I have not done any of these things but rather I turned to my one nemisis that leads me down the road of evil without it even being an issue for me.
It is well documented that I have a severe problem with chocolate. Ok, I am a cheap chocoholic. Even bad chocolate will due just fine. I like dark, I prefer milk, I like chocolate milk, chocolate covered prezels, twix bars, caramilk bars, dove chocolate and chocolate covered almonds. But I have one true passion that began when I was a little girl and it is still my one true love above all. Nutella.
My love affair with Nutella began in elementary school. My mother would make me a sandwich for lunch. I would open the bread and lick off the chocolate spread then throw the bread away. Ohhh yes, I was that hardcore even at that age.
Over the years the addiction became stronger. I went from licking Nutella off bread to using just a spoon, I would refridgerate it so not to consume so much. These days my facination with the tasty treat has reached an all time high. I buy 3 jars at a time. I hide them hoping in my sleep I will not be able to find them. I keep them out of the fridge and I use a big spoon!
So last night I was feeling pretty low. I fell asleep and awoke with a desire for something bad. I went straight to the Nutella. I took a big spoon and the jar and got into bed. I ate, I licked the spoon, my dogs helped along and fell back asleep once I felt satisfied.
Doesn't my world look good at this point? Well, it was until my firefighter friend called from outside my door close to midnight. I ran in my little silk slip to answer the door. I was talking and acting all cool until he started laughing at me. I ran to the mirror and there I was. I hit rock bottom. My chin and around my lips were full of Nutella like a drunk woman with bad lipstick. My nighty was dirtier than hell and my dogs helped with that. I checked my sheets and well...I had to change the bedding.
I need an intervention....after I finish the other 2 jars.
Is it just me with these desires?
bella
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19
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Remembering
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Pubblicato:21 Aprile 2009 8:08 pm
Ultimo aggiornamento:3 Maggio 2012 6:02 pm 47467 visite
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Today is the one day of the year that I always cry, I always reminice and a day where my heart bleeds for what I believe I have lost.
In my life I have had my fair share of men but only one real love. I was in my late 20's and it was the one and only time I was engaged to be married. It was a point in my life where I let my guard down because he let me honestly believe that who I was, was perfect for him and in my heart of hearts I believe I was also.
We were together for 4 years. He did not demand my love but made me love him through his kind heart, his sensibility and his passion for me. And I truly believe that if it wasnt for what a greater power had in store for us we would have still been together.
Many years ago tonight, a Saturday night we had an arguement. A stupid disagreement and because of my age and inexperience with what really matters in life he left me at home to fulfill an obligation we should have fullfilled together. I remember it was raining hard that night and I cried myself to sleep thinking of how self centered he was. I was awoken by the doorbell and a 2 police officers standing outside....and that was the end of my world.
A car accident, a stupid accident. Driving home he lost control of the car due to the rain and it rolled into a ditch. The ditch was filled with water. His seatbelt snapped while rolling and the door glass broke. He landed face down in the ditch and drowned there. During his last moments he was drowning and I was sleeping out of self pity.
Every year on his anniversary I go down to his grave to lay fresh flowers and a note. Over the past years the note has changed some but remains the hardest note I write. I visit his parents and we have a pleasant dinner for I was close to them always. This year is no different. I went to visit him and say my goodbyes once again and wonder what could have been.
I was a young woman then. And now I wonder if he would have liked the woman I have become. I wonder if we would have had children, I wonder if he would have loved me as he loved me so many years ago. I wonder many things. I just sit and let my mind wander...and wonder all the the same time.
So tonight this blog post is dedicated to him. Just to let him know I think of him often, that I miss everything about him especially the way he made me feel about myself and the way I learned how to love.
Se dovessi smettere di portare una Rosa
In un giorno di festa,
Sara perche al di la della Rosa
Saro stata chiamata -
Se dovessi smettere di prendere i nomi
Che i miei germogli commemorano -
Sara perche le dita della morte
Suggellano il mio labbro mormorante.
emily dickinson.
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T is for Tampon
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Pubblicato:20 Aprile 2009 3:00 pm
Ultimo aggiornamento:1 Novembre 2011 1:19 pm 45373 visite
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So yesterday I made reference to a problem that I was having with my tampon and although my intention was not to post about such a disgusting thing I decided to do it anyways because I can...its my blog.
So the story goes like this. I have always had a love affair and an affair of hate with tampons. The first time I used one I was about 21 and at work. I got my period and went to the public washrooms to buy a pad. They only had tampons. I went back to the little boutique I was working at and asked Leanne whom I worked with, and was a true to real former Las Vegas prostitute how to use the tampon. She had me go purchase another and she did a demo for me. Now it was my turn. I went to the washroom, lowered my panties and tried to insert the tampon. Well, I didnt insert it high enough and I could feel it partially dangling between my legs with the attached string. Uncomfortable it was and uncomfortable I stayed. Trying over and over again over the months I got the hang of it and have been using them ever since.
Over the years I have had mishaps with my tampons. I have left them in after my period only to realize days later I smelt like something that has no word, to bending over in the bathroom and having my dog pull the string and POP! Out it comes! Sure I have gone on dates with a tampon in so sure I was not having sex to getting in bed with a man with no intention of vaginal sex and having him pull the string so he could get at me. But this weekend it all came to ahead with my mishaps.
Yesterday morning I got my period. I inserted a tampon and all was well. I went to change it later on and the string came out and nothing else. So what is a girl to do? I tried to dig for it sure that my long nails would give me those extra few centemeters to reach it. No good. I called my friend over for advice. She even tried (Dayna and I are the best of friends and we would do anything for each other...even this) and she had no luck. Over to a doctor I went and he removed it after much embarrassment. So the remainder of the day I tugged on the string before inserting a new one to ensure all was well....Until this morning. Half asleep I put one in and what happened later on? String out and tampon in. I left work after much digging and went back to the doctor...the same damn doctor was there and I am sure he thought I was doing it on purpose so he could get inside me...but all the same he removed it.
I threw my box of tampons away tonight as I believe they are faulty. I now have my bubba granny panties on with a pad. Those were the days. My mom giving me a pad with straps at the age of 9 when I first got my period and going to school with a clean one in a lunch bag. Even though all the older girls laughed at me I believe life was simpler.
So what to do? Pads and granny panties or risking the dreaded tampon tomorrow? Ohh yeah, I can hear it now it my brain. "Ciao hot man! My name is Bella and I may look hot but do you want to see my big fat long pad with saftey wings and my nylon waist high underwear? Turn you on? Come and get me baby!"
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Sex Me Up Again
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Pubblicato:19 Aprile 2009 3:47 pm
Ultimo aggiornamento:1 Novembre 2011 1:20 pm 36327 visite
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Dear Diary,
Today I am documenting an entry regarding my day Saturday, April, 18th, 2009.
So I went to the hairdresser in the morning as I had my friends wedding in the evening. She finally convinced me to lighten my hair but I still won as I only let her put in some highlights in the front and top. Well after my hair turned orange she convinced me on the caramel color. It looked okay in there and I just decided to live with it for awhile.
I got home and had my other single friend call me about what losers we are that we are not married and that Tiziana was one of the last of our dying breed. I suppose to her it didnt matter that I choose not to marry rather than not being able to find a man. After much back and forth I pointed out that Tiziana was on her 4th marriage at the age of 40. Funny how some people interpret it. Some say she must be something special to be able to marry all those men and others say WTF is wrong with her that she cant stay married. I dont have an opinion. I think its all destiny anyways.
So I am getting ready for the wedding, I have a super cute dress and super hot shoes, I am tanned and toned from my workouts...and then I have to do my hair. Straight last night but those damn highlights were so butt ugly I took black masacara and ran the wand over each highlight. All black for now until I wash my hair...yeahhhh!!!
Now, not to complain but I get to the reception hoping for a nice, relaxing evening and who do I see? The mailman I seduced a few years back. Small world as he was my girlfriends childhood playmate. Ok, I tryed to play it cool but all I could think about was what a hot lay he was that afternoon! I miss him on my route as does he as he pointed out. We spent the evening eating and drinking together, had a dance or two and pleaded for him to do my route again...no pun intended!
And in other news....just change the channel...there has to be something better on unless you want to here the details of how I lost the string to my tampon today....ha!
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This and That, That and This
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Pubblicato:17 Aprile 2009 2:56 pm
Ultimo aggiornamento:1 Novembre 2011 1:21 pm 25636 visite
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Well, I finally made it to be able to post today. I was on last night and visited my favorite bloggers and have yet to return mail but I am getting there.
Its been an interesting few weeks. I am in the middle of planning another quickie vacation. The weather here has turned cold once again and I think I deserve some hot weather. And it seems as though I just may make it for the meet and greet this summer in Ontario. I have a previous commitment although the date keeps changing and to my benefit so another short time away from this city looks promising.
I am on my own this weekend as my firefighter friend is working. Now I am a girl with a lot of energy and stamina but nothing in comparison to this man. Apart from these attributes he is strong beyond anything I have known. I keep getting thrown around the bed like a football. One minute I am on my back, the next I am in a pretzel position, then I am on the floor...literally. I fell off the bed the other night and landed on the floor. No harm done except my hair got caught under my back and I couldnt move my head until he finished with me. Strong, strong, strong! I like that feeling of being dominated, out of control and he does that to me as does one of my puppies.
Update on puppies: they turned one year on Easter Sunday. One is fully house trained, the other makes me chase him around the house to get him outside and then he just howls instead of doing his business. If I scold him he vocalizes, he sleeps on my pillows with me at night and continually digs and kicks. He doesnt like me having sex at my house and shows it by attacking my partner. I have some problems with him.
Okay, I am going on and on. Tonight I am doing a little demo for a pole dancing class my friend is running. I am to get up on the pole and encourage how easy it is. Then if time permits some lap dancing lessons to the ladies. I am in for some fun and cant wait to get there!
Enough, tell me to shut up any time now. I am off to eat my chicken and veggies and hope to be back later tonight or tomorrow.
Ciao my friends,
bella
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12
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Sex Me Up...Down...All Around....However You Can
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Pubblicato:14 Aprile 2009 8:00 pm
Ultimo aggiornamento:1 Novembre 2011 1:21 pm 27942 visite
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I have not been around very much in the last while. Call it spring fever or a creature of habit but the last while my mind and my body are occupied with more than I had anticipated as of late.
Confession. I am going to confess my sins as my blog title says. I confess that I have been having the hottest sex of my life these past weeks. Yes, my firefighter friend has turned out to be a sizzling lover! Hence....my absense, my absent mindedness, my soreness, my knees being weak, my anticipation and my dehydration...ha!
Okay. So its been awhile. Well, at least awhile since I had worthy sex, sex that makes me forget your name, sex that makes me reek of desire followed by satisfaction.
Confession....I dont think about blogging when having sex. I dont think about my troubles, I dont think about my work or workouts or my hunger. All I can manage to think about is myself and my lover.
I must be forgiven for not keeping up with my favorite bloggers and new friends. I promise to be by very soon.
Not to be a total spazzola but I am off to do a few things and spend some quality time with my puppies...I hope to be back tomorrow to catch up.
Ciao a tutti,
bella
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Dancing And Vomiting And Such
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Pubblicato:30 Marzo 2009 4:40 pm
Ultimo aggiornamento:23 Aprile 2009 3:11 pm 27844 visite
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I am here to report that the pole dancing party was more fun than I expected except for a few minor setbacks I had that evening. I have learned in my life to never anticipate anything. When you expect things to happen they wont, and when you do, they do.
After the evenings dinner and drinks in which I had a couple of glasses of wine we headed out to my friends party. The requirement was a pole dancing outfit and anyone who knows me knows that I can have many problems but never the appropriate outfit for an occasion. I selected an outfit I used to dance in often. It is black with rhinestones. There is a tiny panty with fringe that the rhinestones hang off of and the top is a string bikini type with the rhinestone fringe. I bravely hit the pole after a few of my friends fell on their heads, their hips and their backs after attempting to hang on for dear life. The funny thing was even the men gave it a go which had me in tears. All the while having a few more drinks.
Ok, so I know I am old now but I hit that pole like I have never been off of it. These days the one in my bedroom I use to paste my posty notes so I dont forget things. I worked the pole like a professional and was proud until my panties came loose and the tie undid itself. I love nudity but that wasnt where I wanted to display....and my nipple didnt cooperate although I had to much alcohol in me to realize that one.
Needless to say Nick took me home....well pretty well carried me home and put me in bed. I threw up a bunch and fell asleep.
It was to be a nice day yesterday at Nicks parents house for Sunday dinner of Braciole and gravy which I love. I fought leaving the house not only for the way I looked but also because I let my hair go natural and Slash like the night before, and I was in no mood to wash it nor could I get a rake through it. I was defeated and put a headscarf on and makeup. All the while there I was fed cammomile tea for the hangover which I cant stand. It was all good until the food hit the table and then I threw up again. Not a nice thing to do and had no reflection on her food.
So here I am with still a headache, I missed 2 days of working out. I feel like sleeping but Dancing With The Stars is on and I am craving a Twix bar and licorice. Oh yeah, I lost my panties at the party and dont have the guts to ask my friend where they are. All in all a good weekend. Next time I need a good hangover cure because cammomile tea doesnt to do it. If you have one let me know unless you like seeing me suffer....
Baci to all,
bella
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Dancing With The Pole
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Pubblicato:28 Marzo 2009 4:49 pm
Ultimo aggiornamento:8 Maggio 2012 2:07 pm 28694 visite
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I am all dressed up and ready for a night out on the town. I had a half assed good week and tonight I totally feel like letting loose. Tonight I am going out with Nick and some other friends for dinner and then to a party that one of my girlfriends is having.
This must be a new fad but tonight my friends and I will be attending a pole dancing party. Sounds like fun to me. I used to be quite good at the pole near the end of my dancing days but I do remember at the beginning falling quite a bit and bruising like there was no tomorrow. Over time I learned to take advice from other dancers and even bought tapes on pole dancing. With lots of practise and patience I would say I mastered it quite well.
Now we are many years later and I am no longer a super young chicky but I am going to give it a go tonight. After a few drinks I will loosen up enough to totally let go.
Just a note. My last post seems to have attracted a hater. To be honest I dont give a shit what is said about me and not. I am secure with myself and know how crabbiness and jelousy runs rampant amoung women who are not friends. But please, if you want to hate me go for it...just dont post your disappointment with yourself and your life on my blog. If so, watch out....you have a blog also and I have 10 fingers....
Baci to all my friends,
bella
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23
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Going Hollywood
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Pubblicato:26 Marzo 2009 7:35 pm
Ultimo aggiornamento:12 Febbraio 2013 12:46 pm 29521 visite
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I am feeling a little cranky today. My dance lesson was cancelled tonight and I was looking forward to it and to seeing Nick. I know I can just call him over if I want but I feel as though I am leaning on him too much. But to be honest I am dying for some time with him. I am feeling sort of lonely and he just makes me feel alive. He would make the perfect partner, I know this. And if I think about it, it scares me to think he could get into a serious relationship and I would lose him. Okay, there, a total confession....enough of that.
This morning I had the dreaded female appointment. I am horrible for going to the gyno, I just hate it but considering it had been so long I made the appointment weeks ago and figured I'd get it over with.
My timing worked out well as I am tanned and looking good so I dont so much mind for my young 30 something doctor to get between my legs and have a peak. I showered up this morning and put on lots of body cream so that my legs would be silky smooth. Extra on the breasts for the breast exam. I even sprayed perfume over Lola to make my scent that much more sweet and special.
I got to my appointment and the receptionist lead me into the office and asked me to put on those paper gowns. I was styling with it on. My doctor came in and asked me to lay on his table and place my feet into those stirrups. I obliged as I was just hoping to get it over as quick as possible. He got in between my legs and placed the super cold metal instrument inside me. As I spread my legs I could smell my perfume. I was smelling really good, better than good! I was designer good! It wasn't until he commented that he had never seen one...he meant my pussy cat, that he had never seen one looking so Hollywood before. I had to ask him what he meant because at this point I had my hands over my eyes and had no clue to the purpose of his comment. He pointed out that I was all glittery.
That is when it hit me. My Lola, my sweet little honey pot was glittery and smelling good. The perfume I used this morning came in 2 bottles and I bought them both. One is eau du parfum and the other is eau du toilette with glitter. I guess in the rush I was in I sprayed the perfume containing the glitter. I had to start laughing as did he.
So there it goes. My little Lola went Hollywood today. And let me tell you when I got to work I went into the bathroom to check and low and behold...she sparkled and shined!
So what is next for Lola now that she is famous? She needs an assistant, she needs a stylist, she needs some tlc and a pair of earrings. Hmmm, could that be my next piercing?
Lola is tired now and we are going to bed...
Say goodnight Lola...........................
Goodnight Bella
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18
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Nippies When It's Nippy
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Pubblicato:24 Marzo 2009 4:54 pm
Ultimo aggiornamento:1 Novembre 2011 1:23 pm 30046 visite
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I had the most odd day today. Being the first day back to work from vacation is always difficult and to kick it all off I sort of forgot I live in the middle of Canada in a city that is notorious for cold weather and snow.
So I get up for work today, and I have a very fluffy occupation. I gave up the job that had me at a computer all week, went back to school a few years back and got me a girlie job therefore I dont need to dress so professional. So to continue, I get up for work today totally oblivious to the winter storm warning and the ice and snow that is falling this 4th day of spring, I choose to wear a little pair of tight black pants and a spandex little tank top that is light pink considering I get warm when I work. I put on my little jacket and head out into the car. Driving I notice my breasts hurt. Hmmm, not near my period yet....so I ignore it.
I get to work and get my stuff ready for the day and I seem to be knocking my breasts into everything. It is not until a man walked in and kept staring at my breasts that I realized it wasnt my breasts causing problems but my nipples.
Okay, when I am cold my nipples are always hard as rocks and they stand out. Today I didnt feel cold but I suppose in comparison to Costa Rica it is cold. I had with no word of exageration at least 10 people mention my nipples today.
I tried to poke them down into my breasts and up they came. I put a sweater on for awhile and they were still there. By that time I just started playing with them because I got a look at myself in the mirror and decided they were sexy.
My nippies are still hard and I sort of hope they stay like this. But why men like nippies I dont understand totally. Although right now they could use a little tweek....."tweek!" "tweek!"
On that note I remember the guy that used to come in the office that I used to do in the elevator before he left. He used to squeeze the hell out of my nipples....
Slippery nipple anyone?
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14
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Costa Rican Bikini's
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Pubblicato:22 Marzo 2009 3:55 pm
Ultimo aggiornamento:8 Marzo 2013 6:42 pm 28640 visite
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This post really has nothing intellectual in it....no thoughts or ideas, absolutely nothing.
The reason for this post is just to show off the cool bikini's they have in Costa Rica. I went shopping of course and found this bikini in a tiny, tiny little store. It is the most erotic bikini I have ever seen in my life. Apart from that, it was great to wear, it gave me a little buzz when I wasn't expecting it.
I have a few more photos in my Costa Rican bikini that I may post in my network photos later.
Ok girls, I bought 3 of them (I know, I am a freak for shopping) I can hook you up, or maybe I'll save them!
That concludes my blog post of nothing intellectual...
Over and Out!
bella
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Risposte Più Recenti dagli Altri Membri
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