Distance
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Posted:Jun 9, 2017 12:47 pm
Last Updated:Dec 3, 2021 10:45 am
1321 Views
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So we understand that alot of people enjoy hooking up with other people...But if your like a million miles away and don't have any plans to ever be near that person...Why do you reach out to say hey we should play...Just don't make any sense...What do you all think
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Inviting old partners to play with new relationship.
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Posted:Mar 31, 2016 11:24 pm
Last Updated:Jun 9, 2017 12:47 pm
7434 Views
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I find myself bothered by the concept of playing with my boyfriend's old partners. For some reason I don't have as much of an issue with ones described as FWB. But as soon as a term like dated or ex or whatnot is used, I feel uneasy about the whole situation. It isn't about the individual woman. Most are nice and respect me.
There has been a couple that were not at all respectful. One is not in the lifestyle and they had one date before I was around that ended with a very passionate kiss and she wanted the opportunity to see what that would equate to in the bedroom. She did not want to meet me (the other woman) and wanted to know nothing about me. This screamed to me as a not good situation and I said as much. I said I had to meet her first or no go, so nothing happened. The other one was an ex who is in the lifestyle, she said I was cute and she was really into me as well as him, but wanted another alone hook up with him before meeting me. Again I said no, I'd have to meet her first, so they decided on a three some as the meeting. I agreed. All seemed fine during and immediately after, said she wanted to hook up with us both again, etc. Then I was bad and looked at his text messages. It happened that the last exchange from her basically said that he should just hook up with her and not tell me cause what I didn't know didn't matter. Yeah. So the whole threesome was just a way to get what she wanted, which it turned out was to get him back, not just play time. He has left this alone and has not and will not revisit playing with her.
The rest have all asked about me and/or talked to me and seem just to be lifestyle gals looking to hook up with my boyfriend because he is reliable and damn good in the sack. So why am I finding myself resistant? At least at first mention. Is it like a lame version of a PST type gut reaction? Is it jealousy? Is it insecurity in a relationship that I believe I am fully secure in? Is it the uneven playing field of he knowing what she likes and vice versa, as opposed to a new person that neither of us have experienced before? By that I mean I have first meeting jitters and neither of them do so I will feel like a third wheel or the outsider in the situation. The only one feeling awkwardness.
Brand spankin' new people don't usually illicit this response, unless I get a batshit crazy vibe. So why would I care about an old partner?
I, hmmm. In talking this out with myself and realizing only one of my possibilities got more that a passing thought, I think I figured it out. It's being afraid of feeling like a third wheel. That's dumb. Have I ever been left feeling like a third wheel? No, okay well maybe for microseconds when awkward what should we/I do next happens, but that is just awkward first time sex. So in reality no. I've never felt left out, or unnecessary or whatever, during a three or more sexcapade. So why does my subconscious think that would be any different? Because I'm being lame. He would be the only one with prior knowledge of both. Maybe it has more to do with being on a level field with her. I think I just had an epiphany. I think it's feeling like inviting someone into our relationship I should have the edge, but in this situation I don't. That is so irrational of a feeling.
He is only revisiting one's that are good and worth a second visit. Time to just play with an open mind. The whole point is its just sex for fun. These girls are just prescreened and come with good reviews. If someone else recommended them, you'd just do it, so what's the difference? None dummy. Quit being lame and go have fun.
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