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Church of the Sily con Bond Simulation
Church of the Sily con Bond Simulation Well, I have decided to create my own cult. All races, genders, and species are allowed to be members as long as they pay dues. So, my next-door neighbor’s dog, Zoey, allowed as long as she pays the $1.99 membership entrance fee, she is in like Flynn. The membership entrance fee is waived for three Dopamine hits on my person. Since this is a secret cult, no membership cards will be issued. Members need plausible deniability. The only exception to this is Elite Status members in which secret decoder rings are given. Rule #1 Members should lie to deny membership. Using these examples can be used in a pinch when asked, “Are you a member of the SilyconBond Church?” 1) No. 2) Hell, no, I am not in the SilyconBond cult. 3) Never heard of it. 4) What the hell are you talking about? Starting at fifth tiered membership, members should lie in more creative ways when asked, “Are you a member of the SilyconBond Church?” Following examples are acceptable: 1) That guy is an asshole, why would I be that stupid? 2) I would rather eat broccoli than be associated with that guy. 3) He slept with my mom, what do you think? 4) Just because I slept with him doesn’t mean I like him, Jeeze. Rule #2 I have decided to only accept tithes of Dopamine hits on my person as dues. This can be subcategorized such as… Money is nice, but I would rather you keep your Money. It would increase my own happiness if you would spend your Money on yourself. I make my own Money and don’t need yours, give me a story instead. Examples: 1) “Hey SilyconBond, remember that $20 you lent me, well, I needed a new vibrator.” 2) “Hey SilyconBond, remember that $20 you lent me, well, I got a hit of coke” 3) “Hey SilyconBond, remember that $20 you lent me, well, I gave it to my .” 4) “Hey SilyconBond, remember that $20 you lent me, well, I needed it for bail.” All make me laugh. Compliments give me Dopamine hits. Examples: 1) “SilyconBond, I really like your writing.” 2) “SilyconBond, I like your shiny blue hat. 3) “SilyconBond, you give me goosebumps.” 4) “SilyconBond, you are a sex god.” All worked, but since they have been used are less interesting to me now. In sults give me Dopamine hits. In sults directed to other people I don’t like at all. Paradox, isn’t it? This is my church, build your own if you don’t like it. So insult me is fine. Others, not so much. A strange feature of my own character is I giggle. I try to stop myself, but normally I can’t stop giggling when I am in sulted. I can’t really think of an in sult I would give myself. Open for suggestions. Try giving me a few in the comment section. One word insults are boring. Unlike other bloggers, I am not very creative. Go read their blogs for creativity. Rule #3 I will make up new rules for my church in the future. Yup, being static bores me. If I make a make up a rule like all church members will wink twice with their left eye on second Tuesday of the month to people not of the Church, then by the Church of the SilyconBond Simulation, they better or risk ex-communication if caught by members. I have been considering making the Chicken Reference Scorecard a rule, but that’s for Advanced and Elite members currently. Plus, the Bingo “The” Game is too advanced for low tiered members. Welcome to the Church, my Silycons. I’m gonna have fun. |
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Well, I have decided to create my own cult. All races, genders, and species are allowed to be members as long as they pay dues. So, my next-door neighbor’s dog, Zoey, allowed as long as she pays the $1.99 membership entrance fee, she is in like Flynn. The membership entrance fee is waived for three Dopamine hits on my person. Since this is a secret cult, no membership cards will be issued. Members need plausible deniability. The only exception to this is Elite Status members in which secret decoder rings are given. Rule #1 Members should lie to deny membership. Using these examples can be used in a pinch when asked, “Are you a member of the SilyconBond Church?” 1) No. 2) Hell, no, I am not in the SilyconBond cult. 3) Never heard of it. 4) What the hell are you talking about? Starting at fifth tiered membership, members should lie in more creative ways when asked, “Are you a member of the SilyconBond Church?” Following examples are acceptable: 1) That guy is an asshole, why would I be that stupid? 2) I would rather eat broccoli than be associated with that guy. 3) He slept with my mom, what do you think? 4) Just because I slept with him doesn’t mean I like him, Jeeze. Rule #2 I have decided to only accept tithes of Dopamine hits on my person as dues. This can be subcategorized such as… Money is nice, but I would rather you keep your money. It would increase my own happiness if you would spend your money on yourself. I make my own money and don’t need yours, give me a story instead. Examples: 1) “Hey SilyconBond, remember that $20 you lent me, well, I needed a new vibrator.” 2) “Hey SilyconBond, remember that $20 you lent me, well, I got a hit of coke” 3) “Hey SilyconBond, remember that $20 you lent me, well, I gave it to my pimp.” 4) “Hey SilyconBond, remember that $20 you lent me, well, I needed it for bail.” All make me laugh. Compliments give me Dopamine hits. Examples: 1) “SilyconBond, I really like your writing.” 2) “SilyconBond, I like your shiny blue hat. 3) “SilyconBond, you give me goosebumps.” 4) “SilyconBond, you are a sex god.” All worked, but since they have been used are less interesting to me now. Insults give me Dopamine hits. I am only 52, and I have not heard them all. I love a good insult directed at me. Something that can be tagged to something meaningful. The more personal the better as long as it’s interesting. Insults directed to other people I don’t like at all. Paradox, isn’t it? This is my church, build your own if you don’t like it. So insult me is fine. Others, not so much. A strange feature of my own character is I giggle. I try to stop myself, but normally I can’t stop giggling when I am insulted. Unlike anyone that reads my writing, I have a lot of experience with people trying to get me angry almost daily. In my job, the person who loses his cool loses. My customers are very high pressure and really want to make an example of someone so they can get discounts on future dealings. To most of them, I’m just a number. To my own company, I’m a lynchpin. Because of my behavior with those interactions, my company has saved millions of dollars and they are aware of it. Damn them for paying me well. My customers have tried for twenty years to piss me off. The only ones that can are the ones I love. I can’t really think of an insult I would give myself. Open for suggestions. Try giving me a few in the comment section. One word insults are boring. Unlike other bloggers, I am not very creative. Go read their blogs for creativity. Rule #3 I will make up new rules for my church in the future. Yup, being static bores me. If I make a make up a rule like all church members will wink twice with their left eye on second Tuesday of the month to people not of the Church, then by the Church of the SilyconBond Simulation, they better or risk ex-communication if caught by members. I have been considering making the Chicken Reference Scorecard a rule, but that’s for Advanced and Elite members currently. Plus, the Bingo “The” Game is too advanced for low tiered members. Welcome to the Church, my Silycons. I’m gonna have fun.
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Why not the right eye? You got something against us right eyed winking people?
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Zoey sounds like a poodle. IS she a poodle?
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Why not the right eye? You got something against us right eyed winking people?
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I am definitely not in the SilyconBond cult. Too many rules. I don't like sitting for church services anyway. Plus you got something against us red hat people.
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I am definitely not in the SilyconBond cult. Too many rules. I don't like sitting for church services anyway. Plus you got something against us red hat people.
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Freak a hundred posts today...You're old.
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Freak a hundred posts today...You're old.
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Since we are on the subject of money. Can I borrow $20?
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Since we are on the subject of money. Can I borrow $20?
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Didn't I already loan you $20?
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“SilyconBond, I like your shiny blue BALLS." now, can i be the member???
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McBond, if I may, I'd like to propose my pet haggis as an elite member, he/she/it is fully conversant in the art of subterfuge, and having two left legs shorter that the other is a master/mistress/itress of two-facedness. The lying wee shite. (I should also say that the only way to determine the gender of a haggis is to eat it, but I just cannae bring myself to eat that wee bawbag!) As for insults, well, I need tae ask ye, does your arse never get jealous of the shite that comes out yer mouth? I do enjoy a good auld piss-take, so please do feel free to sling some back at me!
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as long as we dont drink funny tasting kool-aid.....i might be in..or not woop woop
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My family is descended from a Scottish clan...My great great grandmother came from some area near a castle that she was very proud of...never saw it. Thank you..all. I don't have time to respond tonight, and not sure you are seeing it since my last two post were "denied" go figure.
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