Thank You, Everyone, For Coming
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Posted:Dec 29, 2008 6:00 pm
Last Updated:Jan 1, 2009 12:28 am
4850 Views
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I had a dream last night, and there were literally dozens of you from my watched blog list and other close CityHookups.com friends in it.
As CityHookups.com parties go, it was rather tame... almost all of you were clothed... and stayed that way! And to everyone's credit, you all looked just like your profile pics.
The thing about dreams is that the details are usually quite hazy. I did see some people's faces quite clearly. There was a car, and I was riding in the back seat... and as I moved to get out of the car, someone pulled me back in. We talked about different people, and who we knew, and whose blogs we read... but since my entire watched blog list was there, you all knew who I read!
We should do it again sometime!
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Green Perverts
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Posted:Dec 28, 2008 2:24 am
Last Updated:Mar 13, 2009 9:53 am
5061 Views
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There is a place you can go on the Internet and subscribe to a mailing list, and people in your community will post items that they have to give away that would otherwise be thrown out. The idea here is that one person's trash is another's treasure... and if the person who is getting rid of something thinks an item still has some life, why not give it to someone who has some use for it rather than toss the item in the landfill?
I've been a member for a while, and I've both given away some stuff and claimed some stuff, too. I gave away an old car, some garden plants and a number of other items... and I've claimed some very useful items, too... a computer monitor, a vegetable steamer, a mosquito zapper... all sorts of things.
Recently someone posted something... and it is definitely something that I could NOT use... but the idea of it was so compelling, I had to have it. I sent the gifter an email, and quickly got a reply - I was the first person to reply, and it was mine to pick up.
The item? An adult cheerleader costume.
The poster said that it had never been worn, and that it was very expensive. I immediately thought back to my high school days, where a cheerleader’s uniform was rather substantial - heavy material with felt appliqués. I thought perhaps I was getting the real deal. No matter, the price was right - free.
So the next morning I headed out to meet the gifter and pick up my treasure. Usually when one picks up some item from someone on this list, you go to the person's home, and they have the item sitting on their front porch in a bag with your name on it. This gifter decided that we should meet at the local grocery store - in the parking lot - which was fine with me. Grocery stores are generally easier to find than some apartment in some sprawling subdivision. But I suspect that there was some thought on the part of the gifter that perhaps she didn't want the recipient knowing exactly where she lived. It is one thing when you're giving away an old vacuum cleaner. Another thing when you're giving away something that has some potential to be loaded with meaning beyond the superficial.
When I got to the store to meet the gifter, it was a man who was there to meet me. I pulled up next to his car, we exchanged a cursory greeting, and he handed me a plastic grocery bag. Inside was a clear, heavy plastic bag with the costume inside. This package was quite a bit smaller than I had imagined, and any illusion I had that this was a cheerleader uniform rather than a cheerleader costume was gone.
I had other errands to run, so I didn't bother to open the package until I actually got home. It was the first order of business once I got inside and took off my jacket.
The clear bag has a small plastic snap and a white plastic hangar - the kind that the manufacturer would attach to the bag so as to allow the costume to be displayed inside the bag on a hanging display rack... though the entire costume easily fit into the 12" by 12" bag. I opened the bag, and inside was the one-piece dress, a warm-up jacket, and two pom poms. The dress itself is made of nylon and spandex - definitely intended to be a form-fitting garment. The jacket doesn't have a lot of stretch, and it is quite small. It isn't that the costume isn't substantial, but I don't think it is designed to endure much wear. Clearly the costume was designed for the wearer to engage in only a cursory stint of cheering, before retiring to some other activity.
Short of ordering it on the Internet, there is only one place that I could imagine even finding a costume like this... and that would explain why it was so expensive. It is also probably a good thing that it had never been worn before.
Honestly, the whole cheerleader thing isn’t all that high on my list of fantasies. And I also can’t imagine asking someone that I was involved with to actually wear it for me as some sort of erotic aid. And I didn’t really have any particular person in mind when I got it… though having looked at it, there are a few people that I could imagine wearing it. Perhaps I’ve found the perfect post-Christmas gift for some randy female friend of mine.
Are there any volunteers out there who might like to model it? *wink*
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Fresh and New
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Posted:Dec 26, 2008 1:08 pm
Last Updated:Dec 30, 2008 12:17 pm
5036 Views
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I don't remember how old I was, but probably not any older than ten. I had received a "snorkel parka" for Christmas... and while clothes are generally not at the top of the list of things that a ten-year-old wants for Christmas, this parka was very cool, and I loved it.
The parka was navy blue, and had an orange liner. It had a hood with a drawstring, and a fur ruff. When you put the hood up and tied the string, the hood and ruff made a short tube in front of your face - hence the name, "snorkel parka".
We always exchanged gifts on Christmas eve, and on Christmas day, it was dress-up, go to church, come home for Christmas dinner, but not too much playing with the new toys. The first day where us had the day to plan as we liked was December 26.
This particular December 26th was a typical winter day in Washington, DC - It was cold and the wind was howling at about 30 miles per hour. It was perfect "Snorkel Parka" weather. I loved cold weather, and I loved the idea of bundling up and going outside, for no other reason than to brave the elements. The only thing that might have made it more perfect would have been to have some snow.
I bundled myself up. I put on long "thermal" underwear. I put on two pairs of socks. I had some hiking boots that offered a bit of insulation. I had a nice warm sweater, and then bundled myself up with my parka and a ski cap, and some gloves. I pulled the hood over my head and tied the strings. It was as if I had put on a space suit. I was wrapped in a 98.6 degree cocoon.
My mother was not so keen on me going out in such weather. I don't remember specifically, but I am sure that there were warnings on the news about going out in the "bitter cold". It might also have been that she didn't want me going in and out and letting the cold air in the house.
I stepped outside. The front door and storm door shut behind me. I was left with the sound of the wind howling through the branches of the crabapple tree in the front yard, though it was muffled as I heard it through the ski cap and insulated hood that covered my ears. November's leaves blew here and there across the brown grass. I could feel the cold on my face, but it seemed tempered by my attempts at insulating myself from the elements.
I stepped down the concrete steps of my parent's front porch, and surveyed the frozen landscape. It certainly wasn't still, but it was also not filled with life. There was movement, but it was the sterile, lifeless motions of a blustery winter day. If there were birds around, they were certainly perched safely in some evergreen tree, avoiding the winds and cold.
And then I noticed it. The sun was shining. It seemed brighter and cleaner than I had ever seen before. Of course, the sky was cloudless and blue, but that wasn't what left the impression on me. It was the brilliant, heatless white of the sun. The day seemed brighter. It seemed fresh and new.
I don't think that a ten year old can really appreciate all of the implications of this perception, but I am sure I was aware of them, and they seem crystal clear to me today - This day was different than the days that came before. Left behind were the obligations and expectations of Christmas. For a ten year old , the obligations had to do with participating in the Family stuff and going to church. Not that these things were terrible, but my brothers and I would have been much happier with a football and a couple of friends. And that was another thing... being a family day, you were left without your friends - they were off doing family things with their families. So here it was, December 26th, and we could return to 'normal time'. And it wasn't just that the sun was shining, but that the sun was shining, and everything was starting new. Our lives as had been restored to its best possible state - a week off from school, days to do with as we liked, new toys and Christmas gifts to play with.
I was walking into work this morning, and I caught a whiff of that experience again. There was new snow on the ground, most people had the day off. The weight of obligation and commitment that burdens the Scrooges of this world - myself included - had been lifted from my shoulders.
Perhaps others feel this way too, and it was this feeling of newness that caused them to choose this time of year to move from one calendar year to the next. Thinking back about previous December 26ths, I think I always feel this way in some form. It isn't always as vivid as that winter day back in Washington, DC when I was ten, but it is a real and visceral feeling. And of course, the feelings are much more complex when you're an adult - it isn't just about pursuing an afternoon football game with friends, but about bills and going to work and new projects and paying the rent. But now, those things that we consider 'End of the Year' things are behind us, and what lies ahead are 'Beginning of the Year' things.
It didn't matter that there was eight inches of new snow in my driveway this morning. In fact, I wouldn't have it any other way.
It was fresh and new.
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21st Century Christmas Eve
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Posted:Dec 25, 2008 12:28 am
Last Updated:Dec 26, 2008 8:58 pm
4827 Views
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I don't care for the holidays. I will admit, at least a part of that is just me being contrary, but regardless, more than half of it is a philosophical aversion to the commercialism and resulting sense of obligation that comes with gift-giving. I get a bit overly sensitive about it all, and I get a little reluctant to participate in even the more pure Christmas activities, even though they're not really about the whole gift thing.
And so it was this evening, as the family headed to a friend's place for the annual Christmas Eve get-together. Were the decision left solely to me, we would have stayed home. But my partner likes these things, and they're tradition for her... So I took some time this afternoon and made a lasagne, and then off we went to our friend's place.
In addition to my lasagne, there were some awesome chicken wings, shumai and egg rolls... cheeses and sausages (moose and caribou - very tasty), some bread pudding, baclava, wine and other drinks... all in all a very nice spread.
Three generations were represented, all the way from an expectant mother, a , some pre-teens and late teens, the 20, 30 and 40-somethings, and the expectant mother's father. There was good conversation, lots of laughing, and a few gifts exchanged. Unlike past years, there was no Christmas music, no board games... just good friends and good conversation.
The highlight of the evening, however, is something that couldn't have happened just a few years ago. Someone's phone rang, and someone else decided they liked that ringtone. Suddenly a crowd gathered, bluetooth phones whipped out and turned on, and everyone was swapping and demonstrating their ringtones.
21st Century Christmas: Spreading joy through grey-market copyright infringement.
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Sexpot
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Posted:Dec 22, 2008 6:28 pm
Last Updated:Jan 1, 2009 1:31 pm
4841 Views
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I have this image in my head.
I am not sure where it came from, though I have some ideas.
The most likely place is from when the Internet was still cooling, and net.dinosaurs roamed the landscape (at 300 baud). There was this thing called Internet Relay Chat (IRC), and at the time, it was all that... and I could tell you some spectacular IRC stories. For example, I could tell you about the time that I was chatting to two women at the same time... I was having net.sex (this is what we called cybersex back then) with one, and talking about something very mundane with the other... and I sent a message to the wrong one.
But I digress...
Anyway, back on IRC, there was a very nice gal who went by the handle "Sexpot". I don't think I ever knew what she looked like in reality, but I know what I thought she looked like... All I have to do is hear that word (or see it scroll across my screen), and images dance madly in my head. But they're not what you think... They're not images of a Playboy model. They're images of the gal down the street. The thirty-or-forty-soemthing woman you see in the supermarket. She's wearing jeans and a tee shirt. She has long, dark hair. She's round. Not fat - curvy. Maybe her belly button peeks out from under her shirt. Did I mention sandals? Leather sandals. Maybe flip-flops. No, sandals.
She's happy. She's friendly. She's confident. She's flirty.
She loves sex.
She wants me.
The word conjures the image. But at the same time, the image conjures the word. But she isn't a specific person. She could be anyone... but all of the pieces need to be there. It isn't just the body; it is the aura, the persona... the whole package. There is one at my favorite restaurant. I see them in the store every once in a while. I've dated a few. What fun!
So when you hear the word "Sexpot", what images come to your mind?
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Christmas and Cell Phones
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Posted:Dec 17, 2008 12:02 pm
Last Updated:Dec 23, 2008 12:01 pm
4875 Views
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A few years back (three phones ago) I had a phone that was quite prone to butt-dialing, and found myself accidentally calling the home phone quite a bit. I would get home and one of the would tell me that I had called accidentally when I was out running errands. One night, about this time of year, my partner and I were driving around town doing some Christmas shopping, and decided to play a practical joke on one of the . We dialed the home number and put the phone on speaker. When the answered, we pretended that we had butt-dialed, and staged a conversation about the different Christmas gifts we were going to get for the .
We pretended not to be able to hear the , but in fact, we could hear everything he said. He started off trying to get our attention, but finally he settled down and just listened. We would discuss different gift ideas, and he would offer commentary. Sweaters and underwear? "NO!" After a bit, he got his brother to pick up the extension. They were having a running commentary on our faux discussion. The star of the show was the room-sized chess set, with the carpet board, and blow-up pieces. This elicited comments of "Cool!"
There were two problems. First was, we never intended to get any of these things. Second, even if we had, where were we going to get such a chess set? I'd created the idea out of whole cloth.
Then I was reminded of my youth. One Christmas my parents bought my younger brother a bicycle, and my dad assembled it and slipped it into his room on Christmas morning. My brother's slept on his bed with him... and in the morning, when my brother got up, he was so groggy that he didn't notice the bicycle, and knocked it over at 7 AM. The sound scared the dog, who ran into the kitchen and pee'd all over the floor.
The following spring, the same brother (probably ten or eleven years old at the time) asked for a lawnmower for his birthday. My parents thought that he was joking, and got him something else. On the morning of his birthday, he woke up, fully expecting a new lawnmower to be square in the middle of his room, right where the bicycle had been at Christmas.
Wails came from my brother's room, and he walked into my parent's bedroom with tears streaming down his face, wanting to know where his lawnmower was.
Expectation is a bitch. My dad got dressed and took my brother to Sears, where they picked out a red Craftsman "Eager 1" lawnmower. Turns out my brother was a budding entrepreneur. All of our neighbor's lawns looked great. |
So now, the was expecting a room-sized chess set. I didn't get him a room-sized chess set. I think the trauma scarred him for life.
Gosh that was fun!
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The Unintended Thoughts Behind Dialing With Your Behind
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Posted:Dec 17, 2008 11:52 am
Last Updated:Dec 19, 2008 8:50 pm
4772 Views
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Does it say more about me or my waistline that I've been butt-dialing a lot lately?
I received a text message from a friend last night. I responded, and went to bed. This morning I got dressed, slapped my phone to the belt holster and went out to start the car. After I started the car, I came inside and was getting my breakfast together, when I received a text message:
"Good morning u done 3 butt calls this morning"
I had to respond:
"Sorry about that... At least you know that part of me is thinking about you!"
Part of the problem is the crappy design of my phone - a Motorola Q. All of the business buttons are raised and exposed to whatever I happen to bump into.
But here's the thing... a couple months ago, my butt-dialing escapades were much more infrequent.
I'm becoming a wide-body.
Now for those of you who have met me, I will concede that I was already a bit of a wide-body... but I had made some progress and lost quite a bit of weight.
(confession follows)
I've been slacking lately.
(there, I said it)
I need to get back to the gym... and not just to stop my rampant butt-dialing.
But on the other hand... isn't it nice to know that you're number one in my phone? You're the last number dialed? Your text message was the last one I received? And when strapped on the seatbelt this morning, and the phone pressed against the buckle, it redialed your number.
See? I was thinking of you... or at least, you were foremost in the mind of my PDA.
Hope I didn't wake you up!
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Ask and You Shall Receive
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Posted:Dec 16, 2008 4:29 pm
Last Updated:Mar 18, 2009 8:46 pm
4997 Views
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A fellow blogger asks, [post 1719629]?
He goes on to answer his own question, and I am sure that I don't have anything to add to his discussion on the surface. But there is a tone he takes with his posting which makes me wonder if what he was really asking was, "What's wrong with cheating, really?"
Here's what's wrong:
(For the purpose of making all the roles clear, I am going to assume that it is the man who is cheating on his wife)
Lying. And it isn't just that you're lying to your wife - that doesn't need any explanation. Your mistress is being cheated too... You're cheating her by treating her with so little respect. Assume for a moment that your mistress cares about you, at least a little... But the only time you can find for her is the time you've stolen from your wife - Time whose existence is the product of dishonesty. While you might make considerable effort to get together with her, you only do so in situations where you won't be discovered. In essence, you give the power of choice for your trysts to third parties. You say to her that this is the time you can sneak away, and that everyone else's considerations are more important than hers - they all get the first choice at your time.
Imagine if you told your wife that you could only come home to see her and have sex at a time that your Sunday Afternoon Football Buddy, Frank, wouldn't find out about... because if he found out that you were spending time with your wife instead of him, well... there would be hell to pay.
Sounds like a goofy example... but it is exactly what you're doing with your mistress. Doesn't she deserve better? If not, why are you sleeping with her?
I totally understand that people are in relationships where their needs go unmet. It is probably the rule rather than the exception. But here's the thing - your wife is your life partner. She isn't just some schmoe off the street. This is someone that you love and care for. In theory you respect her too, but maybe not as much as you should. Shouldn't you be able to talk to your partner about your unmet needs? Of all the people in the world, you'd think your partner would be the one person you could talk to about anything.
I hear the voices of dissent as I write this; "you don't understand my wife. I can't talk to her. She's totally unreasonable." Or, "I can't talk to my husband. He's abusive. He's an alcoholic." There are lots of reasons that relationships are broken, to be sure. But lying doesn't fix them. Lying just makes them worse, if for no other reason than to delay their resolution.
Short of something that is illegal or immoral, there is nothing wrong with wanting and needing something. But when you've made the kind of promise that you make when you marry someone, you owe it to them to include them in the decisions you make that affect your relationship. There's nothing wrong with wanting more sex, or different sex, or multiple partner sex, or sex with someone else, or gay sex... It may not be what you thought you wanted at first, but it is what you want now. And all of that is fine, as long as it is embarked upon honestly. Tell her what you want and need. Will it be a pleasant chat? No. But it will be honest.
And you owe her that.
People do have open marriages. People do have "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" agreements. Some of us are polyamorous. Sometimes those are the first steps towards a divorce. But sometimes it leads to a revived, healthy relationship. But you know, if it does end up in a divorce, maybe that is the right thing to happen.
So, to my friend that seems a bit indignant that people would have a problem with cheaters, I say this: It is because those people want and deserve something more than a cheater can offer. That their love and affection and time and caring - both given and received - should never be someone's dirty little secret.
Relationships change, but the promises you make do not.
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I Still Got It
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Posted:Dec 16, 2008 11:16 am
Last Updated:Dec 19, 2008 4:19 pm
4940 Views
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Back in early 2005 I was going to take a business trip to Chicago, and decided that it was time to purchase a laptop to facilitate business while I was traveling.
It couldn't have been a more productive purchase - I made enough sales in the four days I was away to pay for the laptop... and honestly, I fell in love with the thing, and have used it every day since.
Recently the performance has gotten rather sluggish, and for a number of reasons, I suspected a hard drive failure. I backed up the data files and cleaned things up... and the computer seemed to run better... but on Monday morning, the computer was completely dead.
When I tried booting it up, I got the message "No Operating System Found..."
So I ran to the store and got a hard drive - they were on sale - installed it, and thanks to a friend, was able to reload windows and get the thing running again before I went to bed last night.
I am still loading software and restoring files today... but I was able to get back on CityHookups.com and chat with friends from my beloved laptop at midnight.
Oh, yeah. My weekend? It was awesome!
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Why Johnny Can't Reheat Leftovers
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Posted:Dec 9, 2008 12:07 pm
Last Updated:Dec 12, 2008 12:38 pm
5021 Views
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Here is a short quiz... let's see how you do.
1. You have a frozen burrito in your hand. You want to heat it in the microwave. Last time you did this, it was cold in the middle. You want to make sure it is hot this time.
Which of the following actions results in the hotter burrito?
a) You put the burrito in the microwave, enter '99' on the keypad, and hit start.
b) You put the burrito in the microwave, enter '100' on the keypad, and hit start.
Got the right answer? Lets try this one:
2. You have two microwaves. On one, you enter 120 on the keypad. On the other you enter 200 on the keypad. You start them at the same time.
a) Which microwave stops first?
b) How much time elapses before the second one stops?
Want the answers? Highlight the area between here... Question 1: a - when you enter 99, that is 99 seconds. when you enter 100, that is one minute.
Question 2a: the one that you entered 120.
Question 2b: 40 seconds. and here.
I know... it is stupid.
It beats working, though!
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Time Inflation
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Posted:Dec 9, 2008 9:06 am
Last Updated:Dec 9, 2008 12:24 pm
4755 Views
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I was speaking with a friend over the weekend, and she was lamenting how busy she was... to rehash an old cliche', "There doesn't seem to be enough hours in a day..."
I agreed with her. I mentioned that I longed for the good old days, when the day had twenty-four hours. But now...
Wait...
The day still has twenty-four hours.
The problem is, an hour only has 22 minutes.
(the rest are commercials...)
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... In the Streets, the Screamed.
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Posted:Dec 3, 2008 11:20 am
Last Updated:Dec 17, 2008 7:41 am
5193 Views
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... But not about the day the music died.
It will start with yelling in the middle of the night. Middle-aged men cursing and throwing things. Bar owners and patrons disgusted, and choosing to go home early. People that otherwise sleep soundly will lie awake, staring at the ceiling.
For a while, things will calm down, but by sunrise the unsettled feeling will spread again. will cry. No amount of Lucky Charms will console them. People will be late for work, unable to gauge their morning routines. Business people will feel uninformed. Chaos will reign across America.
Two things are for sure: This day WILL come... and for most of us, it is avoidable.
I can't wait for it to come. The sooner the better. In fact, every time I am reminded of it, I want to scream. I want the waiting to be over. One more reminder and it will be me screaming and throwing things.
The date: February 17, 2009.
That is the day that analog broadcast television ends, and all television will be digital. Conan O'Brien will be replaced with snow. No more Barney. No more Wiggles. No more Today Show. No more Regis and Kelly.
(OK, so 'No More Barney' is a good thing...)
Unless you get the box.
This doesn't really affect me... at least not after February 17. I have digital cable, and yes, I have crappy analog televisions, but who cares? The cable box works the digital magic for me. But it affects me today, dammit!
What gets me about this is that about once an hour that infernal crawl comes on the screen reminding people about the conversion. It screws up the video quality of what I am watching, the audio often gets louder... it is very annoying.
I know.
I get it.
Get the damn digital box before February 17.
But here's the thing. I am already watching cable. I don't NEED the box.
Why are you reminding ME?
I am old enough to remember a world where there were still a few people that didn't have televisions... they hadn't taken that technological leap from radio - and in fact, more than a few radios still had tubes instead of transistors. My guess is, these are the same people that today do not have cable. I am not worried about them... considering the fact that most of the television-less people in 1965 were already 50 years old... so today they're pushing 95. They already have cable. Or they have a guy that comes over and fixes things.
If you don't have cable (or some sort of digital converter) today, and you're reading this... Go out and get the damn box, call your television station, tell them thanks for the reminder, and they can now turn that damn crawl off.
I expect it to be gone by the time I get home from work.
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The Art of the Profile Picture
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Posted:Nov 28, 2008 12:35 pm
Last Updated:Mar 12, 2009 12:50 pm
5214 Views
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I know a little bit about photography... I've taken some classes, and I've got quite a bit of professional experience in television... so I know a bit about lighting and composition. I wouldn't say that I am an expert, by any stretch of the imagination, but I know something about it. So when someone is discussing the pros and cons of profile photos, I am inclined to pay attention.
So I was reading a blog posting today about profile photos, and it got me thinking... What makes for a good profile picture? This young lady noticed that when she switched from a black and white profile photo to a color photo, she started getting a lot more attention from men. Is color the way to go?
The answer is a marketing question. At the risk of invoking an unfortunate metaphor, think about your trips to the grocery store... When you look at an ad, or at product packaging, and you see a picture of some item, what often makes the difference between the shopper choosing that item, and not choosing is how that item appears in those photographs. Needless to say, marketers spend a lot of time and effort to get the most flattering photo, and enlist professional photographers who specialize in this type of photography.
If it were just about taking a flattering photo of the product, the process would be pretty straightforward. But there is another consideration, too. Marketers want you to picture yourself using the product. Sometimes they'll show you a flattering image of the product (the 'serving suggestion' ), and sometimes they'll show you the outcome of choosing their product - think of 'Mikey' on the box of Life Cereal (a happy, healthy, picky-eating ), or think of the clean kitchen in the background of the photo of an all-purpose spray cleaner. Notice that you never see a dirty kitchen in those photos... but isn't that where you need the Fantastik most?
But here's the thing - when it comes to groceries, the criteria that matters the most to a consumer is rarely the quality of the packaging. Whether an item tastes good is what really matters. As consumers, we try to determine the taste from the quality of the packaging... but the link between attractive packaging and superior flavor is tenuous. And to be clear, it isn't that the best flavors have the best images on their packages, but rather that the images on the inferior products are just as appealing.
So, when you walk into a store looking for something you've not tried before, and you're trying to decide which item to buy, your decision may at least in part be determined by the quality of the packaging photos, but those photos probably have very little relationship to the actual quality of the product.
The same is true with profiles and profile photos. Unfortunately for most of us (both as posters of profiles and as consumers of them), we haven't put a lot of time and effort into thinking about what we hope to get/achieve with our profiles, and tailor them to do what we want them to do.
The profile photo is just one piece of the puzzle... but for women, it may be the most important part - if for no other reason than men probably spend just a few seconds on each profile before moving on, unless they see something that intrigues them enough to look more deeply at the profile. Of course, that isn't universally true, but it is for the majority of the men out there.
So what matters for a profile photo? Here are some of my suggestions:
The photo should be consistent with what you're looking for. If you're just looking for sex, you should be showing sex. Sometimes that means an explicit photo of yourself, but it could mean you performing some sex act - a photo of a gal giving a blowjob gets a lot of attention. On the other hand, if you're looking for something more substantial than sex, give your audience a photo that allows them to see themselves out to dinner with you, or at a movie, or in a shopping mall. Dick pics don't do that.
Take the time to get a quality photograph. This doesn't mean that you need to hire someone. It doesn't even mean that you need to have a great camera. What it does mean is that you need to take a lot of photos. There's a reason that professionals take hundreds of shots in a photo shoot. Even as professionals with years of experience, most of what they take are junk - or at least not suitable for what they're looking for. Pay attention to lighting and the background. Most explicit shots will be done indoors, which requires a lot more light than most people have access to, and your flash isn't the answer in most cases. Outdoors almost always gives better shots, because the light is better. And... you're going to need someone to take the pictures for you... But that could be a good thing! The bottom line is, there are a lot of attractive people out there with some very unattractive photos.
Consider going without a photo. A radical idea, I know... But there are some good reasons to do that... at least for women. Several women have told me that they get a much higher quality of responses when they don't have profile photos. By higher quality, they mean that the men are more substantial intellectually, more thoughtful, open-minded, etc. The thought is that the penis-thinking, short-attention-span men will click right on through, while the men who are looking for something more will take the time to check the profile out. That doesn't mean you shouldn't have photos to share - you can have them in your albums, or have them to email once you're ready to share some personal details about yourself. Be ready to share those photos when the time is right, but share the photos that make sense for you to share - think about the two points above. There's also the consideration that some friend or neighbor will be perusing CityHookups.com and see you on here... and of course, you can ask them the same question they would ask you... but there are lots of good reasons to keep your photos off a sex site. Don't feel like you have to just because every one else does.
And as for black and white photos... I love them, personally... but what is more important is showing you in the most attractive light. I've seen some awesome sepia profile photos on here.
No matter what, it is art... think of it that way.
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