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| Blogs > rm_factorye > My Escape.. |
Numb
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Numb Ever had something happen that just left you numb?? Numb - deprived of physical sensation. incapable of action or of feeling emotions. Take a really cold bite of something, and you get "brain freeze"; sometimes resulting in your mouth feeling numb for a few minutes. Sit cramped in one position too long, and a particular part of your body may go numb; no physical sensation. We all know about the<b> numbing </font></b>stuff the dentist gives.....Oh, the worst; when you can sometimes chew the inside of your gum to pieces and not even know it!! Being faced with a sudden loss in your life; you are left numb for a period of time.....unable to reason, or think, or deal with the emotions. At various times in my life, for whatever reasons, I have gone into those "numb" modes....All sense of emotion is gone. I function, work, eat, and do, just like normal. I watch TV, listen to music, read....I interact with others.....No, it's not depression, it is, as one person said, emotional withdrawal...It has usually come as the result of overload; too much to deal with....I did this when my marriage ended; I did this twice as a , in response to two very traumatic things happening (no, not directly to me, but they affected my life greatly). I had absolutely no emotions whatsoever......NOTHING effected my emotionally. It was, at best, a zombie like state....No, not the same as depression. I got up each day, functioned like normal, just void of all emotions. Does that sound bad?? Not really...There is something worse....There is the thing that happens when you WISH you could be void of all emotions; you don't want to cry....to hope.....to hurt.....You just wish you could turn the little switch, for just a little bit, and "numb" yourself up for a while.... |
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2/5/2011 9:48 am |
love to chat with you sometime
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2/5/2011 11:49 am |
If you go deep inside of yourself numbness wont find you, Its an emotion free zone, I recommend it,otherwise try auto pilot  Bond James 700  The1tonyroneZone  always to provoke  the pope on dope
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It wasn't a thing I could turn on or off; it just happened. Shutting down, or denying your feelings (or reality, or the truth, or the situation) is never a good thing....For right now, I just wish I just wish I could "numb" against a very hurtful time coming....But then again, that is what makes me; ME.....I am intensely passionate in all that I do....
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Thanks cafsexnic.....You are right; and what energy I do have has been spent "fighting" to not sink into that dark place....I guess that is why I want to "turn off" the emotions...kinda like turning off the lights; to conserve energy!! Tony: I've failed to be able to get to that emotion free zone; I've tried.....I just do everything I do with complete passion; I love intensely; I give totally; I support and defend with all my strength. I do nothing half-heartedly....I have, however, been to that "sub space" zone, only once, and I sooooo look forward to going back!!
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Thanks Morty.....I hope you are also doing better. Sometimes, things get all blown out of proportion...things taken at face value arent what they appear to be. I am very direct in my approach; I voiced my hurts, my disappointment, and why I felt as I did.....then nothing..... However, the situation has rectified itself...at least this time....I wish I could just walk away, and never look back....But I just can't stand doing that to someone....The uncertainty of a situation, to me, is so much worse than the knowing....
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Thanks, Morty.....It's just something that's gotta play out....But it is "better"......just has to come to an end....And, play out what, I think, was part of my path and destiny....
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