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Blogs > 49AK > Out of the Ordinary

Things Left Unsaid...  

49AK 62M
646 posts
9/8/2009 4:31 pm

Last Read:
7/16/2011 2:06 pm
Things Left Unsaid...

First, some housekeeping... I've taken the summer off from CityHookups.com... which neatly coincided with a bad case of writer's block. On the positive side, I've caught a lot of salmon. I am back now... we'll see if I can get un-blocked.

(like anyone notices I am not around...)

I am curious to know what the blog world thinks about this...

I recently met someone from CityHookups.com. We met for dinner, and we had a very nice time. We talked a lot... there was some flirting, but no sex. We made some tentative plans to get together again soon, with the implicit understanding that it would be more, shall we say, down to business.

But we're at that interim point... we haven't made specific plans, so exactly what and when is still up in the air. We trade the occasional text message, or chat online. The conversation is personal, for sure... but it isn't hot. I am OK with that... in fact, I think I prefer it. Not that I am afraid to have a hot and steamy conversation... But in my mind, the problem with them is that it advances one agenda (sex) at the exclusion of others... like connecting at a lot of different levels... deciding that you care about someone, getting to know them, hearing about their hobbies... even being there for them when they need to talk to someone. When the time is right, nobody is going to confuse my version of "hot and steamy" for anything other than what it is. My problem is when the opposite happens - that "hot and steamy" is supposed to substitute for building a relationship.

It sounds like I am putting the cart before the , talking about building a relationship after one dinner. A relationship is really out there at an extreme; the opposite pole being a one-nighter. I am looking for something that is in-between. But I don't want to run the risk of becoming the "big brother", or the "best friend". So I am wondering about finding that balance.

So, blog friends, where is that balance?

rm_NassyFox 62F
37014 posts
9/8/2009 5:49 pm

 I think that every relationship you have with someone defines itself in the long run. Of course you want to look at the extremes and everything in between and wonder where will this one fall in, if it is to last.

No one really knows, unless they put limitations on it from the beginning and stick to their guns. You may have an idea where you want to wind up with someone and then you hope it works to that end. Maybe it will, maybe it won't.

Consider it all part of the journey. There is no real answer here, I think.


ludwig202 72M
11894 posts
8/26/2011 9:34 pm

 hi


ludwig202 72M
11894 posts
8/26/2011 9:34 pm

 pic-1


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