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Blogs > 49AK > Out of the Ordinary

The Breakfast Invitation  

49AK 62M
646 posts
1/31/2009 1:24 pm

Last Read:
2/2/2009 5:32 pm
The Breakfast Invitation

I got up late this morning, and decided I would toss a load of laundry into the washing machine. When I went downstairs with my arms full of clothes. I was greeted at the bottom of the steps by the family cat, named Mouse.

"Meow."

"Hey, Mousie! You're right, it is a nice day."

"Meow."

"Yeah, me too. I was going to go to the convenience store and get coffee and one of those terrible breakfast sandwiches." I noticed that there was a spot on one of the shirts I was stuffing in the washing machine, so I grabbed the pre-wash and started spraying like there was no tomorrow.

"Meow."

"Wow, that's really sweet Mousie, but you know I prefer coffee and that sausage-egg-fat pill they sell at Holiday"

"Meow."

"No, I am not too good to eat with you... but there's a reason they call it "cat food" and not "cat and people food." Plus, there's something about eating something that is nothing more than fish-flavored Lucky Charms." I dumped the soap in and started the washing machine.

"Meow."

"Because you're a cat, that's why. I am not making salmon for breakfast, and if I did, I wouldn't be feeding you any of it. Anyway, you're supposed to like that stuff. You always eat it."

"Meow."

"That's cute. 'Fuck you then, just feed me.'" I mocked his tone. "Meow meow meow, my ass. Whatever happened to 'please'?"

I grabbed a handful of cat food and threw it in the bowl. "There. You happy?"

What a whiner. I started up the stairs, but then I turned back.

"You know, Mouse, that bowl you're eating out of? It is a puppy bowl. Notice the little puppy paws on it?" I slammed the basement door.

Let's see how he enjoys his food now.

firegryphon 54F
5903 posts
2/2/2009 3:37 pm

 This is incredibly amusing. Especially in light of my failed attempts at litter training my new kittens.
The only thing I HAVE to do is eat, shit, and die. Everything else is a choice.


49AK replies on 2/2/2009 4:58 pm:
Some friends had a kitten, and their litter training was only partially successful. They trained the cat to like cat litter, but the cat preferred the sugar bowl better.

The cat's response: "Not my problem."

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