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Blogs > whoisagentj > The Dossier of Agent J

The point when you know your don't want to be with you anymore  

whoisagentj 54M
661 posts
4/25/2019 7:49 am

Last Read:
4/25/2019 11:04 am
The point when you know your don't want to be with you anymore

Yesterday was a bit of a hard day for me.

Now I have a secure job, I wanted to do something really nice for my and I wanted to take them on vacation someplace nice, because due to my divorce, I've had financial difficulties throughout my life. At this point, my bills are slowly disappearing and getting paid down. I've been able to take a 9 thousand dollar debt to owing back support down to around 00 dollars owed. It's taken me over 2 years to do . In short, I'm becoming financially solvent. It's still not easy. I still have a ways to go before I'm back in the black instead of in the red. But the light is now at the end of the tunnel and soon I will be basking in sunshine.

However...

I called my ex to ask if I could take the somewhere nice for a couple of days in the summer so I could plan it out and they could enjoy themselves.

My ex hemmed and hawed a bit, and finally told me my oldest didn't want to go on vacation with me. She now has a part time job, she's planning on going to a summer softball league, plans to go to her first away college trip to take a pre-med course for study this summer in July, and...recently I found out she has a boyfriend.

In short, she doesn't want to go with dad on a small 3 day mini vacation.

I've always touted here we need to be honest, and I try to strive to do . But yesterday I lied to my ex when I said it was ok and 's fine. Part of me is ok. If she doesn't want to be around me, then there is . However, when I said I was ok, I wasn't. It hurt.

I guess there is a point in every mother and father's life when a doesn't want to be with their parents, and they want to do their own thing. It's a part of life. It's a part of growing up and becoming an adult. But man, did this suck. I wasn't prepared for it. Oh I knew it was going to happen. But I ignored it. I tried to call my yesterday to see how she felt about it, but she didn't even answer the phone, the one I'm paying for her so she can talk to dad. But it's always me calling her, and she never calls me anymore.

I get it. grow up. As she's getting older, she's busy with softball at school, school work, work at her part time job, her friends. But it would have been nice for me to be able to have a couple of days with her so we could reconnect.

I know there will be more times where the two of us will be able to talk. But it still hurts a bit she doesn't want to be with her dad anymore.

I still love her and I always will. But it still hurts.
Who can you call on to save the day?

Why none other than...

Agent


RugMunch2019 55M
25 posts
4/25/2019 10:36 am

 Sorry to hear this AJ. I don't have children so can't comment. It must be heart braking for you, when you want to spend time with them and turn you down!!! Hope you can still go away. I've found with my friends kids, when the parents have split, they don't want to know the dad. Don't ring, go see him. Until it comes to Birthdays and Christmas, or they want something.

Good luck with things and I hope she grows up to be a lovely lady and realize what she means to you!!!


whoisagentj replies on 4/25/2019 11:04 am:
The one thing I am proud of is I know she is a great daughter, and I love her with all of my heart unconditionally. She's really turning into a fine young lady, and I hope that I do get a chance to talk to her soon so that I can see what she is thinking.

Paulxx001 67M
22642 posts
4/25/2019 9:25 am

 I would talk to your daughter if I were you. Who knows what's on her mind? And if you explain how you feel... she might think differently. At the very least.. even if she has no time for a four day break, she might have the time for a one or two day vaca...
What's the worst that can happen if you make the call?


whoisagentj replies on 4/25/2019 11:01 am:
Well that's just it. I have called yesterday, and she didn't call me back. I'm going to have to call her again today to see if I can get a hold of her and speak to her directly to see what's going on.

bitchkitty2017 71F

4/25/2019 8:27 am

 hmmm that's a dilemma for sure..Is that her words or is that your ex's ? Do you talk to or see your daughter? or kids for that matter? I am curious you said kids ? What if any is the other kids or kid take on this? Have you always had a good relationship with them all? I would be very wary here something does not seem right..Ex's tend to make trouble in situations like that ...personally I would talk to my kid to find out from her what she wants or not..gonna hurt either way but at least you will know.


whoisagentj replies on 4/25/2019 10:59 am:
That was her words when we talked. However I have yet to hear my daughter directly on this. Normally I do try to see my kids at least once a week for a few hours when I can, as I always try to make some time with them. And normally I believe I do have a good relationship with them.
I do agree that I'm going to have to talk to my daughter and see if I can get a hold of her to speak to her one on one.

RavenGB 63M
1430 posts
4/25/2019 8:22 am

 You really should talk directly to your daughter about this.


whoisagentj replies on 4/25/2019 10:56 am:
Well, I plan to, however, as of late, with her school, her work, and other things in her life, I've not been able to see her in over a couple of weeks. I do think I'm going to have to see if I can work around her schedule a bit and see if I can work something out to where I can talk to her one on one.

Spokane_55 59M

4/25/2019 8:18 am

 Its nice but once mine are on there own, they dont visit as much.


whoisagentj replies on 4/25/2019 10:54 am:
I know, but it still hurts somewhat for me at least.

whoisagentj 54M
6060 posts
4/25/2019 7:49 am

 As always, thanks for reading.
Who can you call on to save the day?

Why none other than...

Agent


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