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Can You Spare A Square?
Can You Spare A Square? I like to think that I am not a wasteful individual. That my ecological footprint upon the earth can be minimized with a bit of resourcefulness. After all, I had read on a tree hugger website that if everyone in the world lived like a U.S. citizen, we'd need over five planets to support ourselves. So, I'm thinking I should be able to improve. To make my footprint ever smaller. (Never smaller than a size 13, though. That would be too painful). I could be a bit more conscientious recycling my garbage. I could be more diligent in purchasing products made with the "greenest" technology possible. Then I thought of my dear old dad. He taught me my earliest lesson in frugality. I can still remember him telling me that I shouldn't use more than eight squares of toilet paper per poop. Yep, eight squares. I had never really counted before, but he was pretty intent that I understood that my limit was to be eight squares. I remember a few things occurred to me at the time. First, it would be hard for him to prove it if I went over the prescribed portion. Then, I thought that on occasion, a person had to use more than eight squares for some situations. Like, what about the times when you think your done, but after you wipe up (using all eight of your squares), you suddenly realize that you aren't as finished as you thought you were. Does this constitute a new poop? Did I earn eight more squares? Or am I SOL? Perhaps the rules could be stretched to mean eight squares for each little log? That would make it easy. A person could crap with pleasure, complimented with a wipe up without worry. Especially if you have those machine gun poops where they pinch out in hard little balls. Then again, that's no help really. Those hard little ones generally require less paper anyhow, don't they? And what about if I am pooping in another place? At a friends house, or in a public restroom? Do the eight squares follow me wherever I go? (Okay, they do. But hopefully somebody will tell me there are squares on my shoe). And, (horrors), what about diarrhea? Surely it takes more than eight in those situations. Right? Then there is the problem of pile. No, not the poop, rather the ply of the paper. If you have 2-ply paper, then you have a real shot at the squareness. If you have Charmin, that's really good. Gawd help you if you end up with single ply. Like Scott. In a pinch, such was the poopy pondering of that potty puppy, the young keithcancook. It's all true, I shit you not! Don't forget to flush, and blog on! |
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I think it would be easier to keep to your eight squares if everyone and everyplace had bidets in this country. Of course that might waste more water. I think it was Kohler that just came out with a new toilet that includes a bidet function in the unit itself. AKA The Clit Whisperer.
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Hello, I cannot imagine using eight squares of toilet paper. I know I am frugal. I know others use way more than I do. Please come check out my blog [blog roxy37sexy] invite you to check it out. you can also check out my profileroxy37sexy Please come and join my group captivating cams.Captivating Cams Dare you com in my blog.
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I think it would be easier to keep to your eight squares if everyone and everyplace had bidets in this country. Of course that might waste more water. I think it was Kohler that just came out with a new toilet that includes a bidet function in the unit itself. I can't stand the teeny toilets they put in houses these days. They're designed for short folks, rather than um, longer ones. blog on!
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Hello, I cannot imagine using eight squares of toilet paper. I know I am frugal. I know others use way more than I do. blog on!
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Ha! I dare ya to limit yourself to eight squares for your next session. blog on!
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I've never understood why they offer 1-ply tp, much less why anyone would even buy it. There's probably some government funded, complicated study that determines the ratio of 1 vs 2-ply square usage.
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Hey, in BlogLand anything is possible, and The Venting Blog will always deliver the straight poop directly to its readers. blog on!
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Baby wipes are always appreciated when available. Can I come poop at your place? blog on!
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I've never understood why they offer 1-ply tp, much less why anyone would even buy it. There's probably some government funded, complicated study that determines the ratio of 1 vs 2-ply square usage. blog on!
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here i thought the rule of thumb was three squares lol
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here i thought the rule of thumb was three squares lol blog on!
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hahahaha... I guess we all get these things from our parents. Although mine were not about 8 squares. I'm happy to say that my parents left those kind of hard choices up to me! Shall I go for 8 squares? or more... mmm... Because as you describe there are so many different situations and each situation requires a different amount of squares... rofl... Keep blogging y'all! Hugs EE407
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Definitely don't want to be frugal when doing this task. The chore is bad enough to do with these messed up arms that still have difficulty getting behind me, so I know I'll not be frugal with the little squares. The more the merrier right now I'm afraid.
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This reminds me of a post from my old blog as it's thematically related. As the weather warms and leaves return to the deciduous trees it becomes possible to use [post 406473]. You can actually sit and watch cars go by on a nearby road as you sit but they can't see you! I think deer like to use that area for night shelter though so I'm not sure if they appreciate the presence of human turds. insert exploding bomb image here
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hahahaha... I guess we all get these things from our parents. Although mine were not about 8 squares. I'm happy to say that my parents left those kind of hard choices up to me! Shall I go for 8 squares? or more... mmm... Because as you describe there are so many different situations and each situation requires a different amount of squares... rofl... Keep blogging y'all! Hugs EE407 blog on!
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This reminds me of a post from my old blog as it's thematically related. As the weather warms and leaves return to the deciduous trees it becomes possible to use [post 406473]. You can actually sit and watch cars go by on a nearby road as you sit but they can't see you! I think deer like to use that area for night shelter though so I'm not sure if they appreciate the presence of human turds. log on!
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Definitely don't want to be frugal when doing this task. The chore is bad enough to do with these messed up arms that still have difficulty getting behind me, so I know I'll not be frugal with the little squares. The more the merrier right now I'm afraid. I hope you will forgive me, I can't possibly resist myself sometimes, but isn't this condition known as a handicrap? blog on!
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Hello there, candysoveryverysweet! It is wonderful to have you back in The Venting Blog again! No thinking is required. Just blog on!
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You're a funny guy, new. Good one! blog on!
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Hello Priapeo, my old friend. Ah, a toilet tree so to speak. Hmm. Yep. That must be the ancient origin of the word "toiletries". blog on!
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That's nothing. My dad believed 2 squares were sufficient, especially if you folded them to make one really small square. (I never tested out his theory).
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You prompted me to reread it, and now I'm laughing too. blog on!
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