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| Blogs > rm_bella_ > Confessions Of An Italian |
Me? Bitch?
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Me? Bitch? Today was the day I realized that all that glitters is not gold. My estranged friend insisted we do lunch so she could make up for what she had done and said in regards to her friend beating me. I didn't want to go but thought everyone deserves at least a chance. We went to a restaurant in the downtown and we ordered, she made a point of telling me that lunch was on her and she even ordered me dessert which I never eat. As she began talking reminisced on all the good times we had and made sure to recall all the times I screwed up in our friendship and the fact she had forgiven me. She looked sincere, she sounded sincere...I was almost sucked in. That was until she told me it was not even worth to continue on with the charges against him after all, who was going to believe me? That I had no chance and I would lose and be embarassed in front of all my friends and family and shame would come to me. I can't believe how wrong I can be about people. It happens to me all the time. I misjudge. I am a horrible judge of character and it is proven time after time. I just wish in this instance it didn't take almost a lifetime and many secrets of mine in her ear, dinners, vacations.... I feel betrayed, lied to, I feel beat down in a sense and I don't believe I will ever, ever forget this experience. Needless to say I told her I would not drop charges and for her never to contact me again in any way shape or form. I also threatened that if any of my personal business that I confided in her under the false pretense of being a friend got out that I would make her pay dearly...and I will. I walked out on her with her following behind, badgering me and calling me very ugly names I am too much of a lady to repeat. But my revenge came quickly as this native man approached the commotion between us he was witnessing down the street. He was obviously drunk and possibly homeless. He walked right up to her and got in her face and said "You fuckin bitch, You fuckin ugly bitch!" Then he looked at me and kept saying "hello, you are pretty, hello." I had to laugh, she looked scared and horrified and I didn't even have to pull her hair. Another relationship over, another friendship that wasn't what I believed. When am I going to get a grip and learn how to judge what is obvious in front of me? When will those closest to me stop hurting me?  |
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Ah..... so you went and stepped on the snakes nest again..... Well I am sorry that you got hurt, but this one was avoidable... so hopefully that is that lesson learned  "When will those closest to me stop hurting me?" the answer to that one is - when you stop letting them. You did not need to go through that today..... Second.... this is when Ghandi's doctrine of forgiveness kicks in.... it is about not harbouring negative feelings to those who are touched by the horribles, rather than getting back on level terms acquaintances who have wronged you.
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2/17/2009 3:26 pm |
I think perhaps your 'friend' (using the term loosely...) has realized that her boyfriend isn't going to get away with his bad behaviour this time, and was looking for a way to get on his good-side by arm-twisting you a little more. She knew of your trusting nature, and tried to take advantage of it. That's not a friend, but a parasite. It's been stated before - you're better off without her. (I'm sure the charges will be resolved in your favour... chin up! )
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2/17/2009 4:07 pm |
If she is getting you stressed out, you should move on. You will have plenty of new friends on the horizon.
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2/17/2009 4:09 pm |
Good people always want to belive that someone can change for the better, and usually end up giving someone another chance. I've been there and for good people it is hard to hold a grudge... but we can try
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2/17/2009 4:21 pm |
First that is one beautiful picture today, you are a gorgeous woman and not just skin deep. I would give you a great huge hug if I could. What this ex-friend of yours did is now as bad as the git who hit. Stay safe and leave yourself open to a true friendship. As someone who in the past shut the world out I know how hard it is to let it back in. Oh, be careful if she is that manipulative she will use what she knows against you. You could be the one on trial instead of him. I hope not but consult council and see. Expensive but may save your cute ass a whole lot of trouble!  
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I wish I had an answer other than to tell you to throw the book at that bastard. My so-called friends have betrayed me many times, so much that I only have two that I trust. Aut viam inveniam aut faciam Tips for Guys to Meet Women  Things i miss most about relationships
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i am glad you can see her for who she is...i loved the homeless man and what he said to her!!!! that was priceless...never hun..never let her back in!!!! she is so undeserving of your friendship...trust and loyalty she has none of,a true friendship has both of these or else it is just a friendship gone bad and i say good bye to bad rubbish!!!!my turn to sing to you Ding dong the witch is dead...hi ho..grap her broom stick Dorothy and get out of OZ..... love you!!! you will have a better day tomorrow hun!!!! forget about her!!!...in my best brooklyn accent    []   Seduce my mind and my body
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2/17/2009 4:57 pm |
I know what you're going through, Bella. I am usually blind to what's in front of me also, because I always try to believe that people are generally good. I may be naive, and I have been hurt a few times, but those that hurt me, I don't have contact with anymore. But on the other hand, if I don't take a chance, such as coming here to CityHookups.com to meet people, I will end up lonely and alone. You're a good person, Bella. Chalk it up to experience. Take a deep breath and move on. Take care, Dear. Rikki
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it sounds like the homeless man is a pretty good judge of character.You're such a sweet person and you deserve better. Forget about your snake for a friend. As you may be harassed, it probably is good idea to get some legal advice. You have as many virtual hugs as you may need from me, Bella. Look forward, not back and cherish the true friends that you do have in person and in blogland.  (I think that's a virtual hug!)
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Hang him high I had a dream my life would be So different from this hell I'm living So different now from what it seemed Now life has killed the dream I dreamed    RAInBow
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It's sad when those we've trusted for so long do a 180 and betray us. It's happened to me a few times. I'm too trusting, but I've tried to develop some sort of mental armour. The lady who is now my wife found her way through. I'd say keep going with pressing charges on this guy. Even if you do lose, it still gives a voice to the abused. The old "she was asking for it" argument doesn't seem to hold as much air as it once did. Good luck. Come into my realm! You aren't afraid...are you?
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"'When will those closest to me stop hurting me?' the answer to that one is - when you stop letting them." Is true, but then you will never have any true friends. When you build up soo many walls that you don't let anyone hurt you then no one can get in to love you either. It is safer, but then I don't think that as many people would be as drawn to you. Please don't change who you are just because of what has happened.
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2/17/2009 10:07 pm |
Bella, You had to see if she was genuine and now You know without a doubt, how ugly her heart truly is....no regrets....Your questions were clearly answered....You will be better in the future in seeing people clearly...I have the same problem and it gets better....no Toxic individuals in my life....I get rid of them quickly from my life.... Hugs to YOU.... TASTE LIFE IN ALL IT'S FLAVOUR
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2/17/2009 11:26 pm |
sounds like she really had an agenda with you, for how long who knows but you are now done with her. it's ok, you did nothing wrong -- she did, she's got to live with the negative consequences... the bad karma. just don't let it get you down, you're too good for that ...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!... 
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2/18/2009 1:54 am |
When will the people closest to you stop hurting you? The answer to that is when they stop feeling threatened by your intelligence and beauty. Jealousy is the surprise fault I have been suprised by again and again in my long but gowing shorter list of friends. Pettyness is not in my mindset, so it catches me offguard every time it happens, and it does, again and again. I sum it up with "people can be so disappointing" and go on my way, unchanged and more careful the next time. You are doing the right thing. Doing the right thing sometimes turns into an automatic selection machine for true freinds. My only wish is that this entire pain in the ass episode is over and done for you and this idiot gets what he deserves, and you are safe and free to live your life as you desreve to. Hang in there, beautiful.
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The way I see it and I no I'm new to your blog but you always find out who your true friends are eventually  She seems like the type that is weak and would let a man beat her and figure its her fault because he said it was I'm glad your sticking to your guns and not letting this loser get away with beating a woman and thinking he can get away with it! Who knows you may have saved 1 woman going threw what you did You deserve the respect from your friends and family for standing up for yourself
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Bella, you have to trust your instinct! Your inner voice said that she was not a friend, and now you have proof. You have to learn to trust yourself, that is all. As soon as you start to do that, you will be fine. You have to get some more self confidence in that area. And come on, you can do it!!!!! I too used to be hurt in situations with friends, and it always hurts more with a friend than with a man. You need more friends that are loyal, that will stick by you in thick and thin, that love the people you do and hate the fuckers you do too. I believe in you Bella. You seem to have lots of readers who do too. Now we just have to show you that you can believe in yourself too. Your puppies do not want to see their Mommy so upset all the time. You have to calm down, move on, and get a lawyer.
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2/18/2009 11:18 am |
Sweet Bella, Sorry to hear that this person still feels it nessassary to cause you grief and heartache. Your posting strengthens my belief that you were definitly the person of stronger character and class in this relationship . The fact that you were willing to move on and give this woman another chance speaks volumes to the type of Lady you are. Don't ever change  A life-time member of the 'Bella' fan club Micky
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2/18/2009 3:21 pm |
Now I am pissed...i feel protective here for you......... You did the right thing...she does not deserve YOUR FRIENDSHIP.... she is trying to get this guy off... by keeping your stand on priciple you are probably going to save others and possibly her some day from the same thing.... these are not people, nor animals ( i am a cat so i have to include animals...better than a lot of people i think ) i want to know if you are safe...restraining order etc.....security apt. or system....friends near by.... i crush these people ...they are a cancer on society and breed uypon the goodness of genuine people.... if you need help let me know... i am very sory this had to happen to you... I don't think you are a bad judge of character i think you are a victim of circumstance.......look at your readership following...all like you and concerned about you....what does that say about your character and personality...E.Q. qualities... now i have an inate gift to pick good people with limited info....MY DEAR YOU ARE DEFINATELY ONE OF THE GOOD ONES......you have tons going for you....that bugger and your female non-friend are the fur balls.... i also have been through being used and misguided by non-friends that only take care of themselves...off the cat list on strike 3 and put on the black cat list and dealt with appropriately.... That should have never have happened to you...i wish i could have been there....that guy would be in the hospital...my plea i'm a martial artist acting in protecting a friend for there own safety.... more to come......no pun intended....
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2/18/2009 3:39 pm |
Hi Bella...continued.........you cannot take the past back...re:divulged info you have given...but if we have to play hard ball you should have the same type of info on her.... sometimes after the nice rational way doesn't work you play their game.....there are other techniques i am aware of here too that might work.... the street man must have a pretty good view of character in 5% he picked the victim which he has probably been most of his life....a total stranger was fighting for you....what does that say...all good and your thought process is accurate in this instance.... i would not associate with either of them until court time... look inside there is alot of confidence ready to use.... you are doing what any normal victimized person should do......takes a hell of alot of courage...most are intiminated...you are not..THAT MAKES YOU VERY SPECIAL.... lotsa of followers in this world few leaders that stand on moral ground and make a difference..... o.k. i 've said enough for know....i only swear when this kind or similar crap happens....i have helped 100's of people who most are unconditional friends through some pretty rough times and problems....i offer any experience i have gained to you as a friend...ZERO STRINGS ATTATCHED...............THE TIGER>>>> take care of yourself my friend...wanna talk you know how to keep in touch............How are les chiens doing? The Cat......RON...
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Ah..... so you went and stepped on the snakes nest again..... Well I am sorry that you got hurt, but this one was avoidable... so hopefully that is that lesson learned "When will those closest to me stop hurting me?" the answer to that one is - when you stop letting them. You did not need to go through that today..... Second.... this is when Ghandi's doctrine of forgiveness kicks in.... it is about not harbouring negative feelings to those who are touched by the horribles, rather than getting back on level terms acquaintances who have wronged you.
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I think perhaps your 'friend' (using the term loosely...) has realized that her boyfriend isn't going to get away with his bad behaviour this time, and was looking for a way to get on his good-side by arm-twisting you a little more. She knew of your trusting nature, and tried to take advantage of it. That's not a friend, but a parasite. It's been stated before - you're better off without her. (I'm sure the charges will be resolved in your favour... chin up! )
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i am glad you can see her for who she is...i loved the homeless man and what he said to her!!!! that was priceless...never hun..never let her back in!!!! she is so undeserving of your friendship...trust and loyalty she has none of,a true friendship has both of these or else it is just a friendship gone bad and i say good bye to bad rubbish!!!!my turn to sing to you Ding dong the witch is dead...hi ho..grap her broom stick Dorothy and get out of OZ..... love you!!! you will have a better day tomorrow hun!!!! forget about her!!!...in my best brooklyn accent
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it sounds like the homeless man is a pretty good judge of character.You're such a sweet person and you deserve better. Forget about your snake for a friend. As you may be harassed, it probably is good idea to get some legal advice. You have as many virtual hugs as you may need from me, Bella. Look forward, not back and cherish the true friends that you do have in person and in blogland. (I think that's a virtual hug!)
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"You fuckin bitch, You fuckin ugly bitch!" Then he looked at me and kept saying "hello, you are pretty, hello." Dave Chapelle gets around, doesn't he?  I had to laugh, she looked scared and horrified and I didn't even have to pull her hair. In the words of Matthew McConahey a'la Dazed and Confused " It's be cooler if you diiiiid!!! I swear she must be obsessed with that dude to throw away a friendship of 25 years on it....can you say Stepford chick? I knew you could wow... Crazy woman she is, most crazy!
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