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| Blogs > rm_bella_ > Confessions Of An Italian |
The I Am
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The I Am Tonight ended a friendship of 25 years. I have known Gisela since I was in my teens. We have confided in each other and helped one another through difficult times but I suppose when push came to shove we could not agree on the simple rules of friendship one being don't give my phone number to men who can't stand rejection. Gisela came over tonight to try to convince me to give up on her friend that beat me up. I asked her to look closely at my face and tell me why I should. The only leverage she had was because we were friends. I refused and then the battery of words started. She accused me of being a , of provoking him in some way because I dress provocatively when I go out. I reminded her that Friday night I was wearing black pants and a black turtleneck...very provocative no? And she proceeded to throw in my face every little indiscretion I have had. Needless to say what came afterwards was not pretty because I don't take shit anymore. No longer friends we are. She called me a more times than I can count and the reasons she gave to support her idea were completely ridiculous. Does taking care of myself and my body make me a ? Does wearing short skirts, low cuts and high heels make me a ? Is the fact I am not married make me a ? Does it make me a because I am not uncomfortable to walk into a restaurant for lunch or previously work in a gentlemans club? If I weren’t a I wouldn’t go into these male spaces unaccompanied, my body is itself a clear message: I need a dick. Does it make me a because I'll refuse a man who sits down beside me and tells me he has what I need? Does it make me a because I wouldn't give my ass to her father? Does it make me a because I wouldn't sleep with her boyfriend to give him a new experience? When does a woman stop being a ? When she dies? When a woman dies she doesn’t stop being a ? In my case I suppose I'll becomes a dead . I am so pissed off if I write anymore it will be all obsenities. To hell with it, I am pulling out the vodka to kill the pain.  |
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You know what!! You're "ex-friend" needs to get a clue! She is so wrong its not even funny! There is no excuse for what that asshole did to you! If this Gisela can't understand that then she's an evil bitch who was never your friend in the first place! You are right to be pissed off!!! 
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Sorry to hear about you losing a friend.But by the way she is talking to you,was she really a friend???? Take care
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Abuse is never ok. If this former friend of yours thinks you brought it upon yourself, she should be in a straitjacket. This guy did what no man should ever do. It's not your fault at all. Come into my realm! You aren't afraid...are you?
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2/4/2009 9:15 pm |
What a fucking idiot, you should have asked her what she'd do if a guy she wasn't into suddenly wanted to fuck her, say on a deserted subway...forcing yourself on anyone is a sex crime. it's called . She's a fucking idiot, another of the quiet sheep out there who'd rather have things wrong than stand up for themselves and "make waves". Tell the fucker, YOU didn't fuck up, HE did. people are so fucking stupid, no loss over losing this useless fool. It's like she's pissed that you are sexy and pretty and you should understand why it's OK to let guys have their way with you. Fuuuuuuuucckkkkkkkkk, so fucking pissssed!!!!!!!!
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2/4/2009 9:16 pm |
Tell that idiot SHE might be his next victim.
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2/4/2009 9:21 pm |
And as far as the vodka goes, don't overdo it. Punishing yourself because of another persons stupidity is pointless. If you gotta blow off steam, go for it but take care of your beautiful self. I have dismissed many very close friends over my life, and as much as it still bothers me, I'm better off. Your friend wasn't much of a friend if she values him over your well being. I mean, would she feel the same if he accidentally broke your neck during his "date" and you were paraylized for life? She's not a thinker, YOU are and a beautiful one at that.
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I didn't want to mention it before... but I thought your "friend" gave out your phone number. Then you blogged about it. I didn't want to mention it... but what exactly did your "friend" say to your attacker when she was arranging your ride home from the party. How did she describe you to him? You described him as "educated"... so why wouldn't he take "no" for an answer? Perhaps Gisela said some things about you that gave your attacker the impression that his night would have a happy ending. I think this guy was told to expect something... that's why he wouldn't take "no" for an answer. If she called you a whore tonight, do you think it's possible that she dropped some hints and made some ridiculous statements on Friday night? Maybe that's why Gisela wants you to drop your case... maybe she's scared you'll find out what she said about you that made this guy think he was gonna get something other than a knee to the nards. Make sense? Keep fighting the good fight!
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2/4/2009 10:18 pm |
OMG, good for YOU for ending it with her....in her thinking....if she accuses YOU of being a whore....that makes me one as well....time for a new best friend, Sweetie....I can feel the pain of Your heart.... Here is warm gentle hug.... TASTE LIFE IN ALL IT'S FLAVOUR
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The only time a woman calls another woman a whore is when they are jealous!! She most likely wishes she had your self confidence, your body image, and your outlook on life. You are right to get rid of her. Any psychologist will tell you that if someone is not being a benefit in your life, to take them out of your life. When they become detrimental, it is time to walk away. And any bitch who calls you a whore is someone to get out of your life.
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2/5/2009 3:06 am |
i just noticed today that you're back, read a bit to catch up and concerning the recent events... ouch! you need a hug so i'll send you some long distance  hang in there you'll be all right soon enough. as for your "friend" well... sometimes it takes years to finally see someone's true colors.  ...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!... 
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2/5/2009 5:01 am |
OMG hun, never let those things get to you so much...None of those things make you a wore and if that means you lose friends by sticking to your principles ....well they were never friends before. Real friends stick together and are non judgmental. Hope you ok Kisses Peter xx
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2/5/2009 5:14 am |
You will continue to be a whore to her until you stop having more fun than her! It's jealousy of your looks, your body, your confidence. Good to see that you gave her the boot - no telling what other 'friends' she has lurking around. You're better off!
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You know you are facing tough times.... but there is good coming out of this, she may of been a friend for many years but you really are better shot of her, and you will realise that in time.... She is the one that introduced you to this fella, she is the one that encouraged you to accept a ride from him, she is the one who, upon hearing what had happened, urged you to drop the charges, she is the one who gave him your phone number, she is one the one who came to your house, looked into your bruised eye and said 'leave him alone'.... leave him alone! like it was you that had done something wrong! She is the one who called you a whore multiple times.... but look at what she is, as I have written it above. If fucking 'Minnie Mouse' came to your house and started yelling (in her high pitched voice) 'Bella you are a whore!' would you take it seriously... it is all about context here. I know that it was not Minnie Mouse and that it was stressful but, on one level, your fucktard 'friend' is no less of a joke. So you survived it... and things will get better and you are doing the right thing and no-one who knows and loves you (be it your Mother, reall friends, or friends that you have made here) thinks that you are a whore. I think that there maybe a case (and do not get mad if I have gotten it wrong) where you a paranoid that people may think that you are whore and that is why your ex-friend's words struck deep... but you have to overcome that type of stuff by shouting it down (in yer head). You are not... and you have done nothing wrong... in fact you opposite to that you are doing the right thing... so carry on. After the time that you have had vodka could be the right thing for you, perhaps you deserve a little pain numbing... as long as it does not overflow into masochism and something that you are using to numb the pain AND punish your negaitve feelings.... Another day.... another day. Keep yer pecker up, pick yourself up and carry on.... you did not lose a friend, in fact the only thing that you lost was an illusion that you would be better off without.
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2/5/2009 6:04 am |
hard 2 believe this dramatic end for a friendship of more than 25 years..she is an asshole..no doubt..but..any1 when he/she gets angry, behave like a crazy..let's hope things calm down from both sides u and her..then ...there will be a talk..long long talk about her bitchy behaviour...then u decide..2 end the relationship forever or to build a new 1 on a new base..i admire u ...and thats why i do not think u have been fooled for 25 years ..this is hard to believe..think about it ...luv 2 hear back from u...Good Luck
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Bella, you're absolutely right to end this relationship, as painful as it may seem to you now. You will probably have pangs about did I do the right thing, but this woman did many wrong things to you and can hardly be considered a friend-I'd be afraid to turn my back to her. You have friends and family in your life and in blogland who truly appreciate who and what you are- a sensitive, intelligent, funny, outgoing woman who loves life in all its dimensions. You're going thoough tough times, but the decisions you're making are the right ones, tough as they may seem.
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2/5/2009 9:04 am |
I guess if she was true friend she would be in your corner. Ready to jump in and back you up. Hugs  
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Your ex friend is an idiot,If she thinks its O K or that you should forgive a man that hits you,.Theres never a good reason for that.Plus the fact that she would call you that and throw bullshit in your face to justify it. U are better off without her as a friend.
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2/5/2009 12:12 pm |
Dear Bella, I've been following your blogs about this horrible experience that you went through. Personally I like to believe that most people in the world are good and decent, but unfortunitly there are ass-holes out there. Your story is a sore spot for me as I have a cousin I'm very close to who was and beaten when she was 17. Her biggest regret was not having the parisite charged. She and I ran into this man ( I use the term man very loosely ) at a house party many years after the assult and she ointed him out to me. After she left the room, this ass-hole came up to me and ask if I was friends wih the girl I was with, I told him yes. This idiot had the balls to tell me that he had my cousin. I still remember the stupid look on his face to this day !! I lost it on him right there and knocked him down. I lost track how many times I kicked him in the groin. It only ended when 3 of his buddies jumped me and put the boots to me. I'm shareing this story with you not thinking it will make you feel better about your situation. You should be as angry and sad as you feel you need to be. Dickwads like these guys always get their just dues. Its called Karma. As for your longtime friend?? A real friend is someone who in spite of our imperfections or indifferences ( good or bad )will always be there for us, not passing judgement on us. They listen to us when we need to unload bourdons, they give us a shoulder when we need some place to cry, and they hold us up when we're feeling beaten down. Unconditionly. If you have friends like this, cherish and hang on to them. They are far and few between. I wish you a speedy recovery physically , emotionally & spiritually Bella. Take care, Micky
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not that i am making excuses for your exfriend...but i say her boyfriend and his friend are putting the pressure on her but i say good for you!!! as your friend she should be backing you up if your a whore then so am i...hey...  i loves ya Bella stand your ground you are a lady..a bright one at that...kick that friendship to the curb hell give me the bottle...you do not need that.... wow Bella it always gets worse then it get better hun!!! we all here will ride the tital wave with you!!!!hugs and keep up the faith hun!!!!   []   Seduce my mind and my body
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2/5/2009 4:02 pm |
Hey bella I think women are catty towards each other to begin with and if thats how she came at you then it's her loss, don't let no one try and make you feel less than, you just keep being you. So what! you were a dancer in a gentlemens club. So what, you like to express yourself with the clothing you wear and exude confindence...fuck her, you just be you thats all. It's fascinating how we find out what others really think about us when shit hits the fan huh. roaming the cyber streets of blogland  
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What a fucking idiot, you should have asked her what she'd do if a guy she wasn't into suddenly wanted to fuck her, say on a deserted subway...forcing yourself on anyone is a sex crime. it's called . She's a fucking idiot, another of the quiet sheep out there who'd rather have things wrong than stand up for themselves and "make waves". Tell the fucker, YOU didn't fuck up, HE did. people are so fucking stupid, no loss over losing this useless fool. It's like she's pissed that you are sexy and pretty and you should understand why it's OK to let guys have their way with you. Fuuuuuuuucckkkkkkkkk, so fucking pissssed!!!!!!!!
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I didn't want to mention it before... but I thought your "friend" gave out your phone number. Then you blogged about it. I didn't want to mention it... but what exactly did your "friend" say to your attacker when she was arranging your ride home from the party. How did she describe you to him? You described him as "educated"... so why wouldn't he take "no" for an answer? Perhaps Gisela said some things about you that gave your attacker the impression that his night would have a happy ending. I think this guy was told to expect something... that's why he wouldn't take "no" for an answer. If she called you a whore tonight, do you think it's possible that she dropped some hints and made some ridiculous statements on Friday night? Maybe that's why Gisela wants you to drop your case... maybe she's scared you'll find out what she said about you that made this guy think he was gonna get something other than a knee to the nards. Make sense? Keep fighting the good fight!
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I'm a whore...a manwhore. Like, totallly...  But I suspected you somehow had an idea of that already!  lolBut seriously, your FORMER friend sounds like the man bastard enabler from Hell yikes!! Can you say Jealously?? I kneeeeew you could! If I were in your shoes (and I wouldn't be,'cuz heels make my butt look weird ) I don't know if I'd be more worried about loser cave-tard Cops epsisode reject dude or her... sounds ALMOST like s setup or her part or something!
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i just noticed today that you're back, read a bit to catch up and concerning the recent events... ouch! you need a hug so i'll send you some long distance hang in there you'll be all right soon enough. as for your "friend" well... sometimes it takes years to finally see someone's true colors.
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hard 2 believe this dramatic end for a friendship of more than 25 years..she is an asshole..no doubt..but..any1 when he/she gets angry, behave like a crazy..let's hope things calm down from both sides u and her..then ...there will be a talk..long long talk about her bitchy behaviour...then u decide..2 end the relationship forever or to build a new 1 on a new base..i admire u ...and thats why i do not think u have been fooled for 25 years ..this is hard to believe..think about it ...luv 2 hear back from u...Good Luck
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